Sunday, September 18, 2005

Perfect Imperfections

Perfect Imperfections

I finished drafting my mail to onsite. It would be hard for any outsider to believe the cycle of emotions I go through during the process. I looked at my watch. I realized there was enough time to go to the canteen and have a quick bite, by the time I get a reply to my mail.As I walked towards the canteen, I saw Mahesh sitting alone in one of the tables outside the canteen. I was expecting to bump into him in the canteen.
He usually takes a break at this time.He was looking somber as he sipped his juice with his eyes aimlessly fixed at distant clouds.

I felt sad to see a chirpy character like Mahesh reduced to such a state. I shook my head with the realization that office life has taken its toll.I approached him from the back and patted on his shoulders.“Why hero!!! You looking so glum!???”He turned back with a jerk and then his mannerism went back to the “laid back” style once again.“Hi da”, his words were lifeless.“My God!!! You look like the way Ricky Ponting would look if he loses the Ashes series”, I exclaimed as I took a chair.He smiled briefly and said ”Nothing da, tough times” He took a sip. “In project” then he added.“Don’t worry boss !!! Everyone one of us get into tough times” I tried to cheer him up.“Yeah!!! and Iam the only one who never gets out of it!!!” he sounded genuine.I realized any more talk of project or work is not going to improve things.So I decided to change topic.

“Hey know something?? You know our training batch mate Neha ?? Somebody actually proposed to her last week. Can you believe that?? Ha ha ha”, I grinned widely.He looked at me stunned for a while.“Really?? Hmmmm….Who ????”I knew I had got his attention.“That she didn’t tell, can you believe that?? I refused to talk with her!! How can she not tell me!!! After all, I am such a close friend of her”, I liked the way the conversation was going.“Girls are always like that da, they are very secretive” he suddenly seemed to have lost interest and continued to look at the oblivion.“Weird bunch da, you know what?? She actually rejected him”I continued.
He smiled with minimal facial movement and said “hmmmm”“That’s the strangest part da!! She said the guy was actually perfect guy , smart,well mannered and all and still she didn’t like him”“People’s tastes are different da” he sounded as if it was the most obvious thing on earth.“What nonsense?? You have got someone with all the right qualities ,then why cant you like him”, I was getting louder.“You might like a person for that person’s qualities but might not love him or her da” he replied with his usual calm style. “But this is ridiculous na!! I mean , how can you not love a person when he or she is perfect” I was adamant.He started smiling wider.

“Imagine you have a business proposal with all the right ingredients. Right client profile , right revenue generating model, good scope for repeat business and all. Won’t you accept that offer without any questions???”I looked at him puzzled.He paused for a while as he looked away.And then he turned towards me and said.“You think love is same as that????” now he was looking straight into my eyes. I was speechless. Whatever he said seemed to convey a very strong and acceptable truth but my mind wasn’t able to process the message.“What are trying to say boss??”the confusion in my voice was unmistakable.“Listen man. Love is not something we can understand with any other general pattern in this world. It’s a totally different concept. It’s not just about roaming about with your partner, celebrating honeymoon in scenic location, having kids , raising them , and then dying at last with quarrels and confusions in between. This you can have with any person. And doing this is all the more easier with the “perfect person” you were talking about. Neha could have agreed to that person if this is what love is.”I nodded my head very slowly. He continued.“But I believe love is something different. Its a feeling caused by divine intervention da. You can’t force yourself to love someone nor can you make someone to love you forcefully. That’s why we say we fall in love. It’s not our choice. If Neha does not feel love towards that person, she cant agree to his proposal just because he has all the right credentials. She can agree only if she feels the love as that guy does. Otherwise the guy has to simply accept the fact and get on with his life. It’s not perfect, it’s not fair, but this is life!! And we can only hope to learn to get used to it.”I was look down in the floor thoughtfully.“Ok boss I have to leave now, got a lot of work,Bye”, he got up and started walking.I wished him good-bye and started staring into my juice without drinking!!I looked up on hearing a ruffle nearby. I saw Neha talking to one of her friends. She was saying something to her and then her friend left. Then she turned and started walking towards me. My mind started recollecting the events of the previous evening.

Both of us were sitting exactly in the same table.
“Whats wrong Neha?? Why are you so dull??” I enquired.
She didn’t reply for a while and then she said.“He proposed to me last week CVR”I leaned back on the chair.“I told you na this would happen???? I expected this to happen long back……..hmmm”I was sounding as unsurprised as possible.
“But I didn’t expect this!!! How could you guess? ”she was sounding genuinely surprised.“It was so obvious madam!!! How can you not see it??” there was more impatience in my voice than I would have wanted.I didnt say anything for a while“So you rejected him?” the tone in my voice was more of a statement than a question.
“Of course CVR!!! I dont even have 1 percent of love towards him and then how can I accept???” she retorted as if she was waiting to hear my question.“You did the right thing, if you don’t have the same feelings ,then it is better to let him know clearly and as early as possible than to prolong his pain.” I was at my empathetic best.There was silence for a while.“How did he take it??” I was curious.“He didnt say anything. He just asked is this what you feel and after I said yes he just said I am sorry and went back.”“Hmm…….nice chap” I blurted out .“I feel so sorry for him. I don’t want him to think he is inferior in anyway!! Its just that I don’t feel ……… “ she was out of words.“hmmmmmm………….. don’t worry I will talk to him” I assured her.“Noooooo… you will end up making him more upset”she replied.“Trust me! I will be discreet” I made sure that I sounded as convincing as possible.
My thought was broken by Neha’s voice.“So you talked to him??” she was anxious to know.
Only then I realized that she had walked to my place and had sat in front of me.“yeah!!! Don’t worry he is more matured than I thought”,I replied.“Good….”she leaned in the chair as a sign of satisfaction with my reply.“But he was looking so dull and upset” she asked as she suddenly remembered it“Of course!! Remember that he is going through one of the painful moments in his life. Its natural to be depressed. But don’t worry, he will get over it pretty soon. And try not to contact him unnecessarily”“hmm.yeah” she nodded in acceptance.“Ok madam!! Time for me to leave” so saying I got up from the chair.“ok bye!! And thankyou so much CVR” she replied.“hey come on!! Its nothing” so saying I started walking towards my building.

I couldn’t help feeling sad about Mahesh’s position as I was walking towards my building. Then I remembered that I would have got a reply for my mail from onsite by now. I started walking faster.
The End

1 Comment:

Eashwari said...

Nice.. But painful to accept..