Final Word

Final word – part I

I was falling uncontrollably. I could feel the gravity sucking me to the ground. The rate at which I was falling was increasing with the time. All I could see was frames of trees, farms and all other greenery in the area, which revolved around at a crazy speed. Suddenly I felt a scratch between my stomach and rib cage. And soon there were scratches all over my body. The pain was spreading like wild fire as the rough leaves and branches of a tree brushed past me as I fell into it. Then I felt a little twig passing right through my left eye and hitting the bottom of the eye cavity. Before I could scream in pain there was huge blow to my right shoulder as it hit a strong branch of the tree.



I woke up shivering.
God!!
What a nightmare. I knew dreams can be realistic but can you even feel the pain???
The sights, the smell, the feeling, the butterflies in the stomach, everything was so very real.

I looked at the clock. It was 10.13 am. There goes my sleep for the day.
I had returned home after a strenuous night shift and was trying to get some shuteye. I have been getting such dreams lately.
Weird dreams
Wild dreams
Crazy dreams
Haunting nightmares!!!!

I felt a burning sensation in my eyes and there was a searing headache. I felt as if thousand men beat me up. I was extremely extremely tired (the repetition of the word extremely is intentional).
I lazily brushed my teeth and climbed down the stairs to the hall. The breakfast tasted strange, as I had just brushed my teeth. I switched on the TV. The eyes were very sore and I walked up to the mirror to find that they were red. I slowly remembered the tough time I had at work, the previous night. I closed my eyes as I tried to take it off my mind.

Just then, the telephone rang.

“Hello”
“Hi vivek, its me da”, it was my friend Praveen.

“Oops,sorry da!! I just realized you are having night shift,did I wake you up??” he added.

“Its Ok, I myself woke up just now. You know I can’t sleep in daytime.”
“Nothing da, I just called to tell you buy one extra roll of film for me. I will be coming directly from office and I don’t think I will have the time”
“Sure boss, will do that”
“And….…..that’s it man!!! I am really excited!! And take good rest, you will need all your energy”, I could hear him smile.
“Sure man”, I replied tiredly.
“Chalo Bye then”
“Bye”

The placed the receiver back in its place. We were planning for a trip to Yercaud for a long time. And after a lot of postponing we finally got it right and we had planned to leave that evening. I was fairly excited myself. It would be a welcome break from my tight work schedule. Also I had an uncontrollable desire to visit Yercaud, brewing up in my mind lately.

We all met in the railway station that evening.
We had planned to take a train to Salem and then will reach Yercaud by road.
There were three of us.
Myself, Ravi and Tamizhchelvan(called as Selva).

Praveen joined us late, as usual.

As the train started chugging along, the reality of a vacation dawned upon me and my heart was filled with joy triggered by the expectations.

I realized the hope of happiness and fun is the biggest contributor of happiness. In reality, there is no such thing as happiness. It’s just the hope of better things to come that gives us the happiness most of the times.

“When shall we reach Salem da”,I enquired.
“Dunno boss,think around 5.00 am”,replied Ravi.
“Good”, I replied.

I was still feeling fairly tired. I was thinking whether I should sleep. I was afraid of getting one those weird dreams again.


To be continued…………

Final Word – part II

“Ok guys,think I will have a bit of a shut eye” I declared as I was got up from my seat.
Praveen laughed out loud.
There was a chuckle from Selva and Ravi didn’t seem like he understood what I said.
“Don’t try to funny Vivek,you don’t have the talent to be funny.”,that was Ravi.
“I am not trying to be!!!I really want to sleep.” I replied.

The guys were not in a mood to hear any of it.
“Don’t be silly Vivek” Ravi advised as he took out the pack of cards from his bag.

The whole night we were playing various games with the cards. Soon we got bored with one and jumped to another and finally settled to the game of “7 cards”. We were playing late into the night and soon we chatted and Praveen even started singing much to the discomfort of the other passengers in the coach. Luckily he was singing in a fairly unobtrusive volume so nobody bothered to complain.
Finally when we felt like we should sleep, we were very closer to Salem and in no time at all we had to wake up as the train had reached Salem.

We liked the peaceful station with no bugging porters. Once we were out of the station we booked a cab and set out to Yercaud.
I found the scenery changing quite smoothly as the car started climbing up the hilly region. I found the place to be beautiful in its own way. It was not a cultured beauty as in Ooty but it had the charm of wild and uncontrolled youth.
We got dropped in the TTDC hotel and found our way to the cottages. After a brief rest we went out for sight seeing and visited a few places, which were different vantage points from where we got breathtaking view of the hills. In the evening we went for boating in the lake, which was very close to our hotel. The day was amazingly enjoyable. But all through the day I felt as if somebody was monitoring me and I even felt I saw a girl clad in red salwar everywhere I went. She wouldn’t be there when I would want to have a good look but I felt she was always there in the vicinity.
After a long day we chatted for sometime and settled to the beds at 11.15pm.I slowly fell asleep.

The air was very cold. I was not shivering but I was not comfortable with the coldness around. I rubbed my palms and hugged myself. I wasn’t sure where I was but the place was strangely familiar. Since it was just one night after the full moon night everything around me was very clearly visible in spite of the darkness of the night. I wandered a while between the greenery and trees and then I saw her.
She was sitting with her back towards me. The breeze lightly disarranged her long hair every now and then .It looked as if she was wearing a red salwar although it looked a lot darker in moonlight. I suddenly remembered that the height and weight of this girl was the same as the one whom I noticed in quite a few places I went during the day.
I went near her.
“Hello” I called out as I walked towards her.
She didn’t respond.
“Hello madam!! Can you hear me??” by this time I was very close to her.
I touched her shoulder as if to beckon her.

She turned around very slowly.
My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her eyes were huge and ghastly. I could see the lines of the arteries very very clearly in one of the eyes. The other eye was half closed. But it looked very very dark, like it was fully red due to some injury,just that I couldn’t see the colour due to the darkness.
There was a deep cut extending right from the bottom-left corner of the nose to her right temple passing right between her right-eye, which had this injury. It didn’t look like anybody could have survived such an injury or rather sit calmly in a park with such injuries. The skin of her face was ghostly white and it even looked like it had decayed a little. The hair was badly disarranged and the strands wildly strung across everywhere adding to the goriness.
The left eye, which was the only operational eye, showed some emotion as she looked at me.
My heart had forgotten to beat. After a few seconds I realized I had stopped breathing and started taking short gasps. I was terrified more than I can ever put in words. I wanted to run away from the place as soon as possible but I was paralyzed.

“Why????” she coldly asked me. Her voice had a metal tinge to it and a lightning of fright ran through my body.
“I……………….I ……………….Iam…………………” there was just air coming out of my mouth. I stopped as my lungs ran out of air after a few seconds.

“Why?????? Why did you kill my baby??I trusted you so much and I gave up so much for you but how could you do this to me????????????why????????????????”

She suddenly got violent and caught hold of my shirt collars with her over grown nails and started shaking me violently.
That was the point when I jerked back to reality!!!!!!!!
It took me a while to realize that I was not in a dream. The realization added up some more fear to the already frightened mind. I forcefully removed her hands from my shirt. I felt as if her hands were a little sticky!!!

Then I screamed like hell and started running away from her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As I ran away I can hear that spine chilling voice in the back.
“Where are you running????You can never escape from me shankar!!!!!!!!!!!!I will have my revenge!!!!!!!!!”
After running for a while I was into the main road and I could see the lake where we went boating that evening. I realized I was just out of “Anna Park” which was near the lake. I could quickly visualize where my hotel would be. I have to cover a few meters on the road along the lake and I shall reach the hotel. I started running wildly on the lonely road. I didn’t know what time was it but I figured it should be well past midnight. I turned back to see a “lady in salwar” some 50 meters away, inching towards me.
My heart skipped a beat. I started running faster even though I was struggling to breath. When I entered the hotel I turned back again only to see the same shadowy figure taking a turn to the street !!!!!!!!!!!
I rushed past the reception and straight to our cottage. I knocked at the door frantically.
“Praveen!!!!!!!!!!Ravi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!somebody get up !!!!!!!!!!!!” I shouted at the top of my voice.
I turned back with my heart beating at the fastest rate. I half expected to see the red salwar lady approaching towards me but there was none.
Just then I heard the door being opened.
It was Praveen with his eyes half open without able to withstand the light.
I almost knocked him off as I rushed past him into the room!!!!!!!!

“Quick!! Quick!!!!!!!!!! Bolt the door!! Bolt the door da! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I was shivering and was sweating profusely and was gasping for air.

“Hey Idiot!! What the hell are you doing in the middle of the night???” that was Praveen as he came back to the bed after bolting the door. The other two were busy sleeping.

“No da!!!I … I ………I just went for a walk” I didn’t know what else to tell him!!
“And what??? You saw a ghost???? What a wimp!!!!! Go get some sleep “ he was dismissive as he wanted to catch up with his sleep.

“Noooooooooo”I cried as he tried to switch off the lights.
“What?? I want to sleep” Praveen was clearly irritated.

“No……. I mean…….I am gonna stay awake for a while…..”
He looked at me confused and then retired to bed, as he was too sleepy to argue.

I tried very hard to remember how I found myself in Anna Park But I could not remember anything. I was half expecting the lady to come past the bolted door and strangle me!
I was too frightened to sleep. The ghastly face flashed in my mind whenever I closed my eyes.

To be continued……………..
Final Word – part III

I entered the home.
“Gowri I am home”, I declared as I removed my shoes.

“Iam a little busy here,could you please see how vinodh is doing??”
Vinodh was sleeping in the cradle and was making some weird noises.
It looked as if he was on the verge of crying.

I stared at the baby for a while and entered the kitchen.
Gowri was preparing chapatthis. I hugged her from the back.
“Hey leave me,what are you doing in the kitchen???”
“Iam just hugging my wife in my home, why should it matter whether its hall or kitchen??”
so saying I kissed on her left shoulder.
“hey!!!! Your moustache is pricking” she said with her girlish voice as she wriggled in my grasp.
Just then there was a noise from the hall.
The baby had started crying.
“Ohohohooooooo,what has happened to my sweet vinodh!!!!!!!” so saying Gowri rushed to the hall after forcefully removing herself from my arms.
I felt so cheated. The baby was bugging me big time!!!!!!!!!!!

“Hey Vivek,wake up!!!!!” it was Praveen.
I woke up with a jerk.so it was all a dream???
how real!!
I remembered all the occurrence of last night!!! I involuntarily shivered a moment. What an terrifying experience. I should have fallen asleep sometime after coming back.
“Hey did you go outside sometime last night??? I vaguely remember opening the door for you but don’t remember anything more!“ Praveen was enquiring.
Good he doesn’t remember much.
“Hmmm.……yes da. I went out for a short walk”
I didn’t tell him anything more.He didn’t bothered to ask.

That day we had planned to visit “Killiyoor falls”.We took an auto and the auto wallah dropped us in a place and said the remaining distance need to covered only by trekking. The way looked very remote steep.
“I think this would be quite an adventure” Ravi remarked.
“It’s a lot better now Sir,they are laying railings of some kind.Earlier there was nothing.The visitors were few and the path was not very well identified. It used to be quite a bit risky.”

I was not talking. Even though this is my first visit to Yercaud, I felt that I had been to this place before.
My mind was not in my control. I felt as if it was taken over by some entity, which was deciding what to think and what to do. And slowly I remembered everything.

I was called Shankar in my previous birth and I was born and brought up in Coimbatore. I was the only son of the owner of a very famous cotton mill. I had never tasted failure. I didnt know the meaning of the word misery and I can never relate with the term “try again” as I used to get everything the moment I asked. I met Gowri in college.It was love at first sight and after a bit of hesitation Gowri agreed. We roamed around Coimbatore and I can bet that we had visited most of the cinema theatres in the place.
Soon our parents got to know about it and there was trouble and our parents were very very adamant. My parents relented after a while but her parents never seemed to budge. And they made a huge mistake. They secretly arranged for her marriage and before I knew it she was married to some guy in Madurai.
I was totally broke.I was roaming around dejected trying to wash away my memories but I couldn’t. That was when I decided that I will have her back. I went to Madurai and met Gowri privately in a retaurant.
She was startled at my suggestion. She gave me a lecture about Indian tradition and all that crap. But I was unconvinced. And then she told me that she is pregnant. I was unruffled. “Just get a divorce from that guy”I said “and marry me”. She walked out.

But I never relented. I used to meet her whenever possible and push her to take the decision. And soon her husband got to know about me and life became hellish for her.
Her husband used to come home drunk and would beat her; abuse her even though she was pregnant. What a sick guy!!!!!!
Gowri couldn’t take the abuse and harsh words and one fine day she agreed to get a divorce and marry me.
I had enough money and power to silence anybody but Gowri’s parents were totally taken aback. They totally washed their hands off their daughter and Gowri became my wife with the infant. The baby was mentally disabled, all due to the mental torture Gowri had to go through during her pregnancy.

The next few months were perfect. But celebrating my honeymoon with some guy’s baby was not something I enjoyed a lot. Also the baby reminded me of that guy all the time. I realized that the baby is the only thing in the world that prevents Gowri’s full attention towards me.

A male lion would kill all the cubs when it takes over the territory of another lion. This is to make sure that the lioness is dependant on him to sustain the species.

I had made my decision.

I meticulously planned for our trip to Yercaud. I vividly remember the visit to Killiyoor falls.

Inspite of Gowri’s concerns I took her to the falls and volunteered to carry the baby.
And when she was little away from me I threw the baby away with my very own hands.

Gowri came running towards me on seeing me without the baby.
“What happened?? Where is the baby? What happened to my vinodh”
I didn’t say anything and was looking to the drop with confusion.

“Oh no!!!!!!!!!! my vinodh……….. my baby……………oh my god!!!!!!!!! Somebody help!!!!somebody get my baby!!!!!!!!!!!! VINODH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
She was getting very very restless and was losing her balance .
I caught hold of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Hey , cool down,the baby is gone . there is nothing we can do about it!!! You have got me!!! Its just an accident”

“You killer !!!!!! you always hated the baby and now you have dared to cold bloodedly murder my baby!!!!!!!!!! You demon!!!!! You are pure evil!! I will never forgive you!!!!”

She was getting more and more uncontrollable.
“Yes I did!!!! I killed the baby ,so what?? We can have any number of kids we want. Don’t you see why I did this?? I did this for us!!!!!!!!! I did it for our love!!!!!!! I thought the baby would compromise our love!!!!!”

She stopped suddenly and looked at me with confusion.
“Is that it??? Is it why you killed the baby?? You killed the baby because you doubted my love?? You killed the baby because you lost confidence in out love???
I don’t want to talk to you ever in my life. Leave me. Don’t touch me”

So saying she forced herself away from me and started running on the steep tracks.

“Gowri!!!!!!!wait!!!!!! Gowri it is a dangerous place” I ran after her.

After running a few paces she lost balance and she fell!!!!!!
“Gowri!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I screamed and watched her tumbling down the hills on the way to certain death.
I wanted to do a thousand things at that time but all my body was numb.

I quietly went back to the hotel. Took my car. Went back to Coimbatore and shot myself.


I was sitting right on the tracks and my friends were nowhere in sight. Think they didn’t notice that I had stayed behind.
Gowri appeared before me with the red salwar and the injured eye.

“You killer!!!!!!!!! You killed my baby!!!!!!!!!” so saying she started strangling me violently.
I was gasping and was trying to free myself from her clutches. As I tried doing that my weight shifted to my left and I tried to catch hold of a plant. It snapped and my foot slipped on the muddy surface. I fell down and started tumbling down the hill.

Soon I was falling uncontrollably. I could feel the gravity sucking me to the ground. The rate at which I was falling was increasing with the time. All I could see was frames of trees, farms and all other greenery in the area, which revolved around at a crazy speed. Suddenly I felt a scratch between my stomach and rib cage. And soon there were scratches all over my body. The pain was spreading like wild fire as the rough leaves and branches of a tree brushed past me as I fell into it. Then I felt a little twig passing right through my left eye and hitting the bottom of the eye cavity. Before I could scream in pain there was huge blow to my right shoulder as it hit a strong branch of the tree.

That was the last sensation I ever felt. And then there was peace.

The End

Lights Camera Action

I had written this to my friends as a summarization of our work for the short film and as a remembrance for their efforts.

Thought some of you might want to read it!!!

We have won the second prize!!!!!!!!!

There was joy ,there was jubilation and we were jumping all around.

I smiled.
It was one of those smiles where every inch of the lip movement is an involuntary reaction to the uncontrollable outburst from the heart. It was a smile where you forget about your not so perfect teeth and smile without any concern about your looks. It was a smile where the edges of lips hopelessly tries to expand more and regretfully stops somewhere near your ear all the while cursing the limitation of human body.

A smile,
Celebrating the magic of friendship.
A smile,
Reaffirming the sincerity and sheer hard work.
A smile,
Proving the power of teamwork.
A smile,
Reflecting the confidence in life and acknowledging the sign of better things in this unforgiving world.

A smile that knocks the doors of your eyes looking for tears of joy!!!!!!!

(Somebody stop this guy!!!)
Ok!!
So much for a smile , let me get to the point..
On September 9th , a bunch of “happy go lucky” software professionals (and one happiest go luckiest HR person! J)Were gathered in MC room, bldg number 1, second floor, Infosys, Sholinganallur campus.

The occasion????

The screening and the announcement of results of the short film competition with the title “Community empathy and Social consciousness”

My mind rewinded back to the first meeting of this team. We had come to the meeting based on a post in BB.
“No!! We are not gonna show a usual issue thing!! The one where we see a touchy depiction of some social evil and accusing the audience of all problems and eventually making them feel bad for watching the film. We are not gonna be problem pundits !! We are gonna be solution sheiks!! We are not gonna show what you have not done.We are gonna show what you CAN do!!”
The words echoed in my ears!! This was the unanimous decision we took at the end result of our brainstorming.
What a refreshing thought!!

I knew we had won it right then! We had won in deciding the right concept and outlook of the film.

The next Monday there was a flurry of emails. A few of us had written scripts and had made a few stories (quite a few INKers in the group so it was obvious that we were never gonna run out of stories).
We met again and finalized the story. The readiness with which people agreed to unanimously decide on a story amazed me. All of these guys were proven storytellers but they agreed not to press on with their story and willfully accepted one of the many good ideas and wanted to go forward.
I knew we had won it right then! We had won in killing our ego (creators have a biiiiiiiiiig ego,trust me!! J), and work towards a common goal.

Soon we decided on our roles and started looking for people to act in our movie. After a few auditions we narrowed down the actors/actresses.
Soon it was time for shooting. The first day we decided to shoot at a beautiful road in Annanagar and “Jeevika-a home for the aged and destitute“ with a simple handy cam without even a tripod.
My God!!!!!!
The ideas started pouring like I never imagined. We shall zoom from here and then pan it across to there and then zoom out and then this that blah blah!!! Now we were in a fix!!!
Which idea to decide on?? We only have five minutes and five thousand to show our movie and all these ideas are enough to make five movies!!!!!!!!! Perhaps we had too many people with lots of ideas.
Compromises had to be made, pride had to be swallowed and the sweltering heat added to fatigue didn’t help much. There were times when the frustration and irritation threatened to erupt and destroy the setting like an ugly volcano destroying a peaceful village. But common sense prevailed.
By the time we went back to our homes at 11-11.30 on that Saturday night, we had shouted, thought, argued, decided, walked, ran, taught, negotiated, imagined, traveled like no other day.
As all this happened with the veil of making a movie, when the veil was removed, the enormity of the efforts settled on our bodies as pain and tiredness with the sweet feeling of achieving something!! It wasn’t entirely peaceful sleep for all!! Some had to get up early next morning to go office on a shift on that Sunday. (duty calls, sometimes it orders too!! J)
After another day of hectic shooting, the cast and the crew heaved a sigh of relief.

“Substantial amount of work is done”, someone remarked with a tone of satisfaction.

I heard a smirk from somewhere. I didn’t realize at that time, that it was God laughing at our innocence.


To be continued……………..
It was then time for editing!!!!!!

A bunch from the team went to the studio located in Kodambakkam.
What an incredible experience!!! The magic of movie making spread before our eyes as the professional started to isolate the shots and started putting them in place!!!!
And as we guided him through, we ended up with one single piece with the whole flow. But before that we had to decide the right “take” to include and had to regretfully exclude some very good shots.
Now we have a problem!! The film was supposed to be just 5 minutes and we had lot more than 5 minutes to our footage. We had to cut out a few shots!!!
But which one????
It was like asking a sculptor which part of the torso can be cut of his beautiful sculpture!!

Sacrifices had to be made. Scenes for which we had to toil in terms of acting,lighting,camera angles etc etc had to be cut. It got harder as we started nearing 5 minutes and the last two minutes were the most painful.
In the end we had a film for 5 minutes without any sound. We were fairly satisfied but what is this??? Not many outsiders were able to understand it!!!!!!!!!! L

What could be wrong??? Why isn’t the flow very understandable?? Is it because there is no sound?? Should there be another round of editing??? That will be extra money!!!!, not to mention the time and effort. In the end we decided to make a small change in editing and go ahead with the dubbing!!

The effect of sound to a non-talkie is amazing; no matter how much you can imagine its importance.
The actors gave their voices to the characters as their “astral projections” moved on the screen.
The tweaking, the fine tunings, the adjustments we made to each and every dialogue was to be seen to be believed.
It was 2-3 am , by the time the dubbing was over. We went back sleeping to the nearest shelter available to get a shut eye. The eyes got “shut down“ very soon but not the minds. The movie played over and over in our dreams.

“What time is it ????
Its time for MUSIC!!!!!!!!!”

Creating music is always a challenge. Creating it for a movie, tougher!!
Creating it for a five-minute movie so that it brings out the essence of the message??
Forget it boss!! J

It was with these constraints, our music director started his musical venture. When it was over we were bowled over by the originality and serenity of the music.

The movie was played to few outsiders again and this time almost everyone liked and most importantly understood it!! J
Feedbacks were implemented and our movie was ready.
We made our posters and by this time, the date for submission had arrived. We submitted our movie and our fingers were crossed. Some of us even crossed our hands and legs.

Before we could realize it was 9th September , the day when the results were to be announced.
We gathered in MC room, where all movies were to be screened and the results were to be announced.
As the movies were screened one by one, I personally felt that our movie was more complete than any other movie in terms of story, screenplay, acting, originality in music, message etc.
And then the announcement came.

We have won the second prize!!!!!!!!!


Take a bow Sudharshan, for your neat camera work .
Take a bow Venu, for your camera work, non-intrusive guidance and millions of other incredible things you did for the film, which I won’t be able to mention, due to the sheer enormity of it!!
Take a bow Deepak, for your great work with the story/script and wonderful direction.
Take a bow Megh, for your beautiful music and your inputs to help us narrow down the concept.
Take a bow Vidhatri, for your effort in direction and the time you spent in finalizing logistics and locations.
Take a bow Vineetha, for your encouraging leadership and your unstinted help and support all the way through.

Take a bow
Imay (Rishab)
,Neena (Suprita)
,Madhu (Caretaker)
,Swetha (Anjali)
,Saurabh (Vivek)
,Santhosh (Shaam)

for your mature acting and the receptiveness with which you took our inputs without any ill feeing.

We have won in making an impact in the competition.
We have won in presenting a sound and practical idea.
We had won when we succeeded in making this movie with absolutely no exposure in limited time.
We had won when we juggled our time and made sure we don’t compromise on the quality of the movie all the while dutifully working in the office.
But more importantly,
If the message reaches the audience and if they spend a minute thinking about the topic,
We have won a prize, which cannot be matched by any other.

Thanks for the fun,
Thanks for the experience,
Thanks for the sweet pains,
Thanks for the exhilaration,
Thanks for the smiles,
Thanks for the tears (of joy)
(fine fine!! I will stop!!!! J)

Thanks for everything.
Good luck,
Bye

Special Thanks :
SNEHAM
and
Manimegalai, Jeevika-a home for the aged and destitute (Padur)(little girl in the movie)
,Mr.Subramaniam ,Caretaker, Jeevika-a home for the aged and destitute (Padur)

The end. (its about time anyway!!!!!! )

Perfect Imperfections

Perfect Imperfections
********************

I finished drafting my mail to onsite. It would be hard for any outsider to believe the cycle of emotions I go through during the process. I looked at my watch. I realized there was enough time to go to the canteen and have a quick bite, by the time I get a reply to my mail.As I walked towards the canteen, I saw Mahesh sitting alone in one of the tables outside the canteen. I was expecting to bump into him in the canteen.
He usually takes a break at this time.He was looking somber as he sipped his juice with his eyes aimlessly fixed at distant clouds.

I felt sad to see a chirpy character like Mahesh reduced to such a state. I shook my head with the realization that office life has taken its toll.I approached him from the back and patted on his shoulders.“Why hero!!! You looking so glum!???”He turned back with a jerk and then his mannerism went back to the “laid back” style once again.“Hi da”, his words were lifeless.“My God!!! You look like the way Ricky Ponting would look if he loses the Ashes series”, I exclaimed as I took a chair.He smiled briefly and said ”Nothing da, tough times” He took a sip. “In project” then he added.“Don’t worry boss !!! Everyone one of us get into tough times” I tried to cheer him up.“Yeah!!! and Iam the only one who never gets out of it!!!” he sounded genuine.I realized any more talk of project or work is not going to improve things.So I decided to change topic.

“Hey know something?? You know our training batch mate Neha ?? Somebody actually proposed to her last week. Can you believe that?? Ha ha ha”, I grinned widely.He looked at me stunned for a while.“Really?? Hmmmm….Who ????”I knew I had got his attention.“That she didn’t tell, can you believe that?? I refused to talk with her!! How can she not tell me!!! After all, I am such a close friend of her”, I liked the way the conversation was going.“Girls are always like that da, they are very secretive” he suddenly seemed to have lost interest and continued to look at the oblivion.“Weird bunch da, you know what?? She actually rejected him”I continued.
He smiled with minimal facial movement and said “hmmmm”“That’s the strangest part da!! She said the guy was actually perfect guy , smart,well mannered and all and still she didn’t like him”“People’s tastes are different da” he sounded as if it was the most obvious thing on earth.“What nonsense?? You have got someone with all the right qualities ,then why cant you like him”, I was getting louder.“You might like a person for that person’s qualities but might not love him or her da” he replied with his usual calm style. “But this is ridiculous na!! I mean , how can you not love a person when he or she is perfect” I was adamant.He started smiling wider.

“Imagine you have a business proposal with all the right ingredients. Right client profile , right revenue generating model, good scope for repeat business and all. Won’t you accept that offer without any questions???”I looked at him puzzled.He paused for a while as he looked away.And then he turned towards me and said.“You think love is same as that????” now he was looking straight into my eyes. I was speechless. Whatever he said seemed to convey a very strong and acceptable truth but my mind wasn’t able to process the message.“What are trying to say boss??”the confusion in my voice was unmistakable.“Listen man. Love is not something we can understand with any other general pattern in this world. It’s a totally different concept. It’s not just about roaming about with your partner, celebrating honeymoon in scenic location, having kids , raising them , and then dying at last with quarrels and confusions in between. This you can have with any person. And doing this is all the more easier with the “perfect person” you were talking about. Neha could have agreed to that person if this is what love is.”I nodded my head very slowly. He continued.“But I believe love is something different. Its a feeling caused by divine intervention da. You can’t force yourself to love someone nor can you make someone to love you forcefully. That’s why we say we fall in love. It’s not our choice. If Neha does not feel love towards that person, she cant agree to his proposal just because he has all the right credentials. She can agree only if she feels the love as that guy does. Otherwise the guy has to simply accept the fact and get on with his life. It’s not perfect, it’s not fair, but this is life!! And we can only hope to learn to get used to it.”I was look down in the floor thoughtfully.“Ok boss I have to leave now, got a lot of work,Bye”, he got up and started walking.I wished him good-bye and started staring into my juice without drinking!!I looked up on hearing a ruffle nearby. I saw Neha talking to one of her friends. She was saying something to her and then her friend left. Then she turned and started walking towards me. My mind started recollecting the events of the previous evening.
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Both of us were sitting exactly in the same table.
“Whats wrong Neha?? Why are you so dull??” I enquired.
She didn’t reply for a while and then she said.“He proposed to me last week CVR”I leaned back on the chair.“I told you na this would happen???? I expected this to happen long back……..hmmm”I was sounding as unsurprised as possible.
“But I didn’t expect this!!! How could you guess? ”she was sounding genuinely surprised.“It was so obvious madam!!! How can you not see it??” there was more impatience in my voice than I would have wanted.I didnt say anything for a while“So you rejected him?” the tone in my voice was more of a statement than a question.
“Of course CVR!!! I dont even have 1 percent of love towards him and then how can I accept???” she retorted as if she was waiting to hear my question.“You did the right thing, if you don’t have the same feelings ,then it is better to let him know clearly and as early as possible than to prolong his pain.” I was at my empathetic best.There was silence for a while.“How did he take it??” I was curious.“He didnt say anything. He just asked is this what you feel and after I said yes he just said I am sorry and went back.”“Hmm…….nice chap” I blurted out .“I feel so sorry for him. I don’t want him to think he is inferior in anyway!! Its just that I don’t feel ……… “ she was out of words.“hmmmmmm………….. don’t worry I will talk to him” I assured her.“Noooooo… you will end up making him more upset”she replied.“Trust me! I will be discreet” I made sure that I sounded as convincing as possible.
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My thought was broken by Neha’s voice.“So you talked to him??” she was anxious to know.
Only then I realized that she had walked to my place and had sat in front of me.“yeah!!! Don’t worry he is more matured than I thought”,I replied.“Good….”she leaned in the chair as a sign of satisfaction with my reply.“But he was looking so dull and upset” she asked as she suddenly remembered it“Of course!! Remember that he is going through one of the painful moments in his life. Its natural to be depressed. But don’t worry, he will get over it pretty soon. And try not to contact him unnecessarily”“hmm.yeah” she nodded in acceptance.“Ok madam!! Time for me to leave” so saying I got up from the chair.“ok bye!! And thankyou so much CVR” she replied.“hey come on!! Its nothing” so saying I started walking towards my building.

I couldn’t help feeling sad about Mahesh’s position as I was walking towards my building. Then I remembered that I would have got a reply for my mail from onsite by now. I started walking faster.
The End