Spiritual but not religious

We have heard it from people and we have seen it in people's profiles.
But what does it really mean???

One of my friends asked me this question,because Iam one of those guys who likes to be known as "spiritual but not religious" types...
What followed were my efforts to encapsulate my understandings of this phrase into the constrained spaces of Gtalk box.
As i was rambling on,the friend suggested that I should probably blog this.
And so here goes...
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Spiritual but not religious means not subscribing to something just because its professed in a religion
or not stopping with a religion to explore the divine connection
,to seek out the ideals of spirituality outside the limits of my religion.

To be non - religious means to do something
or to refrain from something
not because God will be angry with me for doing so.
It is to choose to do something,because i like to do it.

It is not to pray for favours but to identify a relationship with a supreme being
higher than a master slave relationship.

It is to question about God,analyse and to have the right to accept or reject.
To do things that will be regarded as blasphemy by religion, just because they don't conform to set practices.

To interact with God outside religion
To engage with humanity and to love and care for humans outside religion
and its guidelines and rules.

It is the freedom to choose.To take the responsibility to imbibe discipline to oneself and to strive to become a better human being within our limitations ,rather than depending on a holy book or holy man/organisation for that.

To be spiritual is to realise and practice the purpose of religion.

Purpose of life - random thoughts

The purpose of life is not to be happy

The purpose of life is to live.

To live is to be happy, sad, endure, struggle, rejoice, and get angry.

To live is to follow your heart.

We all get really depressed when things don't go fine, when we get into things that don't make us "happy". Or into things that we think won't make us happy in the future.

We lament why we are put into such situations and see it as an out of norm occurrence, something which shouldn't have happened but has happened to put us in misery, something of an anomaly.

There in lies the flaw! By understanding that tricky situations are as much a part of life as happy situations we can feel liberated cheerful and can have a more matured and positive outlook on life.

Life at best can be explained as opportunities that bring out the best human in you, giving you opportunities to express the ideals within you.

To take decisions based on truth, bravery and love.To follow your heart without giving up!!!

Challenges are the only opportunities which shall let you achieve this!

The more testing the situations are, the more fruitful the result is going to be, In establishing your self belief and to understand yourself better and to live.

Sure we can't be all perfect all the time. We have our limitations with respect to love, truth and courage.

I can't be all loving all the time! I can't donate my entire salary to the empowerment of poor.

I can't be all courageous all the time! And nor I can be all truthful!

But the trick lies in understanding the limits and to try and push them when you feel like doing it.

To live life is to be happy.

To live is to follow your heart.

To struggle, endure, and fight, the opportunities that lead you to do all these……it's all part of life, not just the moments that make you smile end to end.

Most situations can be funny if only we can learn to step back a little and look at it as an outsider. Its worth a try.

Sure you can derive happiness while doing all of the "non-happy" situation, if we can train our mind to understand that its meant to happen in your life, no matter what life offers you.

One can be happy even if we are in situations that don't make us "happy".

One can be really happy only when you follow your heart!

Ann Arbor post - part IV

That evening a friend of our colleague met us in the hotel. The colleague was to join us the next day. Let’s name this friend as A for convenience sake. He was A Sincere Hearted Orderly and Kind gentleman. We went to his apartment to meet my former team mate who has been staying here for the same client. We had a nice time as we exchanged pleasantries and caught up with the lost times. I bought a reliance calling card online through which we can call our contacts in India. For 10 dollars one would get a number and pin using which you can talk upto 78 minutes. Then we went to a place called Bombay groceries.

You got to see that place to believe it!! Once you enter that place you will forget that you are in US. It has all the stuff which you would find in a regular “Food world” or a “Subiksha” outlet all sold in dollars instead of rupees. It even has a video library section where in you can rent in a movie cassette from a decent collection of Hindi, Tamil, Malayalam, Telugu movies. I didn’t note whether it had movies from other languages.

I wanted to call up my mother that instant and tell her that such a place existed.

After stuffing our bags with “Frozen parathas” and “Ready to make Sambhar” mix kind of stuff, we came back to the hotel all in A’s car. I didn’t know that we were to use more of his services in the subsequent days.

A very interesting thing to note in US is that the sunlight stays well upto 8-8.30 PM in the evening! It get dark only after that. And also the first light of the dawn breaks out only at 7oclock on the morning! (nobody gets up before that anyway!! Except me of course! )

I forgot to tell you the time difference between here and Ann Arbor. Ann Arbor falls in Eastern standard time zone which is 9 and half hours behind IST. Which means convert your day to night or vice versa and just add 2 and a half hours. For example if its Monday morning 6.30 AM in Chennai it would be 9PM Sunday night in Ann Arbor.

The next day we were to go to the client’s place. We booked a cab (there is no other way) and went to the client’s place!! I was again impressed by the orderliness and ease of traffic. I guessed it would be sometime before I got used to it.

Buildings in US don’t have a ground floor! All buildings start from the first floor! So if you have a 3 storey building you have 4 floors (1,2,3 and 4) instead of ground floor, first, second and third.

That evening we went to open up a bank account. We were suggested a place near our hotel by the fellow infoscions who had already opened up an account there.

SSN is a major headache wherever you go!! SSN or a social security number is the unique number using which each person is identified in the US. They ask for it wherever you go and since you don’t have it as soon as you in US we have to make temporary arrangements with the establishment before it arrives.

We gave our passport number as an alternative document and got the account created!

Another word which you will get to hear whenever you are going to do any financial dealing, is credit score. In US a credit rating is maintained for individuals based on their history of credit worthiness. In other words it is based on the track record of their ability of the money they had obtained from any financial institution. Since we were new to this country there was not credit score for us so we had to pay a hefty caution deposit to establish our trust worthiness.

The next major arrangement to be done was the accommodation. With the help of the fellow infoscions who were based in that city already we narrowed in to an apartment called Pheasant run. It is a huge campus with around 20 single storeyed structures evenly spaced out with lawns and wide roads. Each of these structures has 8 apartments in it. We get an option of choosing either a single bedroom or a double bedroom apartment. There was a special offer going on wherein one month rent was free if we take a lease for 1 year.

And also since we didn’t have any credit score we were pay a hefty caution deposit of $685. The discounted rent came upto $625 and there was a processing fee of $25. But before we could move in we were to arrange for the energy and insurance. There is a company called DTE energy which takes care of the gas and electricity needs of the house. We need to set up an account with them so that our usage can be billed. Even there we had to pay a substantial caution deposit as we didn’t have any social security number.

Then there was the insurance. We called up an insurance company and the attendant took us through the ordeal of answering zillions of questions, the answers for most of which didn’t know. There were questions like

How far is the nearest fire station?

When was the apartment built?

What is it made of?

What is the roof made of?


Etc etc



After that we got cashiers cheque (something like a DD) from the bank and paid of all the charges for the apartment. It should be noted that to go to all of these places we had to book a taxi!!

That weekend was when we moved in to the apartment and as soon we came in we had to indulge in a shopping exercise to stock up our homes with basic articles and also to replenish our groceries.

The next day we went to an Indian restaurant in downtown aptly named as “Madras Masala”. We took the buffet lunch worth $8 and included lot of mouth watering items that can found in any restaurant back home. The rasam needs a special mention as I gulped it in to avenge the burgers which had been battering my taste buds for a week.

After completing one full week in a new country I got settled with the pluses and minuses of the new place. While food and transport were the major problem areas life was pretty manageable otherwise. But I was given a neat welcome by the host of surprises which I had come across in a brief period of time.
--The End

A translation of this series can be found in my tamil blog.

Ann Arbor post - part III

As soon as I got out of the plane I hooked up with couple of my colleagues who had come in the plane. We were instructed to Immigration counter first.

I found myself in front of a slightly obese lady with absolutely no smile . She asked me a few questions like

“whats is your profession?

“Which company are you from?”

“Where are you going to stay?” etc etc

Then she tore off a part of the I-94 form and staples it to the page opposite to my visa page. This document would serve as the document that would authorize me to live and work in US for the time specified in the form.

Then we went ahead to the baggage claim section. I was slightly apprehensive about whether I would lose my baggage as I had to switch to planes with very little time. But thankfully I got it though I had to wait for it for some time.

Then I went straight to the customs. I gave him the filled in blue form which was given to me in the plane. There was not much to check as I didn’t have any valuables and also I didn’t have any food items, plants, animals or any other stuff. But still the officer in the counter asked me a few questions.

“What’s there in the baggage”

“Some clothes and a few kitchen utensils”

“Did you bring any food items Sir?”

“No”

“Then how are you gonna eat?? You gonna shop it here?”

“Yes”

“Okaiy!!Wish you a pleasant stay Sir”

“Thank you”



I was through!!!!!!!!!!!

So I was finally into the US of A after completing all the formalites!!

I waited for a few minutes for my colleagues to join me. Then we went outside to fetch a cab and set out to the hotel.

As we went t the transportation section a gentleman approached us and enquired as to where we need to go.

We told that we need to go the hotel and we need a cab which would accommodate all of our baggage!! He promptly called in a van and even helped us get the baggage into the van.

Since I have had infinite number of bad experiences with autowallahs in general and Chennai autowallahs in particular I found this experience very very very refreshing.

Soon we were cruising through the road towards Ann Arbor. I think the first thing that hits anyone who travels to US for the first time will be the roads. There are so wide,clean and well laid. Also the traffic is very well regulated and there are no traffic policemen. Everyone follow the traffic rule and to be frank I feel everyone follows them because everyone else follow them!!!!!!! 

I have always felt that 80% of things, if not more, we do is determined by peer pressure. An average person will start doing something if you could just convince him/her if it’s the most fashionable thing to do or if that’s what the most are doing!

I believe there will be a time when following traffic rules and other disciplined social behaviors shall be the example rather than an exception in India. Upto that day its upto the responsible youth of India like us to be the exception until it becomes the example.


This was what went through my mind as we went to the hotel marveling at the buildings and lawns that lined the roads on both sides. Another very noticeable aspect of this country is there is a looooooooooooot of space!!! They have ample car parks in front of any buildings and in places like a mall the car park is as big as the floor area of the building if not more. We had already been told that car is must in Ann Arbor as public transport is virtually null. EVERYONE has a car and NOBODY walks.

We found that out when myself and a friend ventured out of the hotel for lunch and scouting as soon as we reached the hotel. We couldn’t find even one soul who was on foot and it looked odd as we crossed roads in a hurry. The temperature never goes above 10 degrees Celsius and drops to zero at nights or when it rains. We were in spring and the climate was expected to improve as summer jets in.

As we went in search of food we discovered another aspect of this place! There were not many shops around and even the ones around were not in walking distance. There was a mall nearby but you got only dresses, automobile parts, jewellery and othe cosmetic stuff and not a loaf of bread!

So after loitering in the cold for around 30-45 minutes we entered a eating joint called wendy’s.

I was busy reading the menu banner so as to find some vegetarian meal. Atlast I decided to take a “simple classic somethingy”. Though I could see a meat like thing in the picture I decided I would order it without the meat as I was too hungry and there wasn’t too much of an option.

I went to the attendant and said I would have a classic burger without meat and then I added is it vegetarian?

And I got most bland expression on her face. I couldn’t believe that she didn’t understand what I said. I tried to repeat by what I said by infusing some American accent and added I would like to have it without meat!!Also I ordered some tea. After five minutes of tussle she finally tapped onto the machine in front which spat out the change for the 10 dollar bill I gave her!

As I dropped the coins into my wallet I felt “ How am I gonna survive here if I have to work so hard to get just one meal”.

My woes were doubled when I saw a brown colored piece in the stuff packed in my burger which looked like meat. I knew going back to her would be of no use! So I gave to my friend that piece of the meat and started eating the burger which was nothing but a bun,some cheese and few sold cabbage leaves!!!Nothing compared to the regular meal we have in India everyday!!!

The most interesting point was that it was the least enjoyable meal of all of my stay because after that we had been able to cook our own food and I have been able to order vegetarian food without any problems henceforth. Even now iam not sure whether the lady really didn’t understand me or was she just faking it!

That evening I was to meet the most helpful person in the whole of my stay!!
--to be continued.

Ann Arbor post - part IV

Ann Arbor post - part II

Around 12:30 – 12:45,the flight attendant started calling in people for the flight. First, the passengers of the business class were called in and then economy class passengers called in based on the seat number. I went through a passage where my boarding pass was checked in and I walked ahead into the passage leading upto the plane’s door.

As soon as I entered into the plane I realized that its bigger than the domestic flight in which I had come. There were 9 seats in a row split into 2-5-2 seaters. My seat was the last seat in the 5-seater,again! No window seat!! 

Another disappointing aspect of this flight was that the airhostesses were big women who were past 35 years of age!! I was even tempted to address one of them as granny but was held back thanks only to my fear of being kicked out of the plane.

Soon the plane started and this time I was too tired to feel anything except for the slight realization that I was leaving my country!

I was tried to look outside the plane through window past the aisle and the two seater but it was shut off by the lady who was traveling with her husband with a baby.

I decided to get some shut eye but before that I was given some light snacks lest I don’t go to bed with a empty stomach. I munched the food item as I was watching the huge screen displaying the flight path and other relevant flight information.By then one of the attendants gave me a headphone which plugged in to the arm rest of the seat. Soon I fell asleep.

When I woke up I could see that a movie was being played on the big TV!!

It was movie featuring Salman khan,Kareena kapoor,Jackie shroff,Om puri and shilpa shetty’s sister(I forgot her name).


Here goes the story.

The story starts with Salman khan admitted in a lunatic asylum run by Om puri.

Kareena kapoor is his daughter

and she and Jackie work in the asylum as doctors!! (the rhyming is just coincidence!! )

Salman is admitted because he had gone mad(I mean, in the movie) when he “accidently” kills his wife after romancing with her in the picturesque tourist spots in Europe.

Kareena is this caring doctor who nurses him back to good mental health with the help of Jackie and eventually falls in love in the process.(I mean isn’t that obvious ???)

I never fathomed to understand why gorgeous looking heroines always fall for the crazy,dull,mentally unstable,rickshawallah,taxiwallah,rowdies etc etc in the movies.

Aren’t there enough decent software engineers available whom you can trap??

Anyway coming back to the movie, Om puri is totally pissed off when he comes to know that his daughter is in love with a crazy guy!! So he carries out a high profile operation on salman which renders him into a vegetable state!!

Unable to see Salman in such a hopeless state Jackie kills him by stuffing a pillow on his face.

Jackie goes to the jail for his offence and Kareena goes mad for her lost love!!!

After watching this “crazy” movie I watched the antics of the tiny tots near by to my seat and then gulped in the beautiful sceneries painted by the morning sun on the plain skies of Europe.

By the time I had only a 1 or 2 hours of journey left. I was thrilled to know that my plane was flying over cities like Prague,Vienna,Frankfurt etc etc. these were all the cities which I always wanted to visit and they were just “crashing distance” away from me!!

Even though I knew that there wasn’t much of a formality to be carried out in Amsterdam I was afraid whether the flight will reach the destination on time and whether I will have enough time to catch the next flight.

But thankfully the flight reached just 10-15 late. The gate number for the Detroit flight was announced by the flight attendant as a high percentage of people from this flight were to catch that as well.

I raced towards gate number 9 as I marveled at the clear and open design of the Amsterdam airport. Also there was a feeling of me not being part of the crowd as that was the first time I saw so many Caucasian foreigners in such a short span!

I joined the line which I found in gate number 9. After answering the security questions about the baggage I was guided to a desk where my passport was verified and some computer work was done with my passport information as the lady at the desk nimbly tapped on the keyboard. Then it was the security clearance again as I went through the metal detector tests after which I was through to the passage to the plane.

Soon I was into the airplane and found my way to the seat. Again it was quite unnerving to be amidst lot of African American and Caucasian people who were a lot bigger than me!!

I found my seat and this time it was a window seat !!!! And the flight had a better on-board entertainment system with a small TV for all seats. I even had a remote with which I can select a variety of options to be displayed on the the screen like movies,flight information,games,music etc etc. It was so cool.

By the time I learnt couple of my colleagues were traveling in the same plane. I met with one of them and made sure that we went together to the hotel once we reached Detroit.


As the plane started we were given couple of forms based on the nationality. Since I was an alien I was given a I-94 form and blue colored form. The I-94 was to be filled up with the details of my stay like the address and other information. This was to be the document that shall authorize me to stay and work in US. The other one was the customs form. I had to declare any valuables I had brought and also whether I had brought any food stuff,soil,plants,animals etc etc.

I filled it out and then started watching movies. The view outside just the blinding white of the clouds as the plane swam across the clouds with the mighty atlantic lying beneath.

I watched a couple of movies which I always wanted to see. They were Toy story and Bugs life!!! I loved it!

I also watched a light comedy “Fun with Dick and Jane” starring Jim carrey. Any Jim carrey movie is worth watching atleast one . What say?? 

After the plane entered Canada I gaped at the breathtaking beauty of the rural landscape that appeared beneath me. The trees,the greenery,the lakes,the roads neatly drawn with perfect color and contrast with intermissions of my view by passing clouds was a treat to watch. There were times when the sun reflected so brightly off the clouds that I was forced to close the window

After a memorable flight travel the plane landed in Detroit airport tearing through the cloud screen that had enveloped the city. Detroit, the automobile capital of US and a city with a sizable African American population also holds the dubious distinction of one of the most crime ridden city in US.
--to be continued

Ann Arbor post - part III

Ann Arbor post - part I

Wrote this during April 2006 when i came to US!
Been a while :-)

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Dear readers,

As I went through a few events in my life in the past few days I was filled with this unexplainable restlessness. A restlessness to tell all that I was going through, to someone. Also it was a feeling that, I would have found it useful if I had heard all this from someone.

So this writeup is precisely an attempt to record the information I had chanced to come across in my life and to present it to you as a letter.

A letter from a friend who wants to share his experiences. A letter with the message of friendship and greetings!!!

From Ann Arbor* with love.



*Ann Arbor is town near Detroit,USA





Ann Arbor post



Life presents us with a variety of experiences.

Experiences which make us both laugh and cry and a few which leave us somewhere between the two

Experiences which are remarkable and insignificant and a few which falls in between the extremes.

Experiences to cherish

Experiences to forget

Experiences to celebrate

Experiences to mark our life with dots which can be connected at the later part of our life as a line that would reveal the portrait of our life



I knew I was about to be part of such an experience as I was traveling to the Airport with my parents. It had taken a while but the feeling of my first onsite trip was filling my heart with all the excitement it had to offer.

As I watched parents gleaming with pride, my mind was torn in worries of the trip. This trip had a few specialties to its credit.

It was my first trip beyond Bangalore.

It was my first trip outside the country (obviously)

It was my first trip on a plane.

And so on.

I was the most worried about the process that I had to follow during the flight. Though I had attended the travel briefing arranged by my company , I had slept through it like I would have in any other session!!I think its fair to say that no amount of counseling can fully prepare someone for such a huge venture.

I reached the Airport and got in with my luggage in my formal best. I had even worn a blazer to complete the “formal”ity.

Thankfully I had my aunty around who works in the airport so she was there reassuring me that everything is going to be ok and I was going to get through it like a breeze.

There were three flights which comprised my trip. The first leg was from Chennai to Mumbai in Jet airways, the next was from Mumbai to Amsterdam in Northwest, then it was from Amsterdam to Detroit in Northwest airlines again

I went straight to the jet airways stall in the departure segment as I didn’t know what to do!!

After instructions from the Jet airways staff, I took my baggage for my screening. My check in baggage was passed through an x-ray of sorts and the contents inside were checked for any “weapons of mass destruction”. 

Then I went straight to the Jet airways stall where my baggage(both check in and cabin baggage*) were weighed and were strapped with the flight stickers. I was also given the boarding pass there.

Then I went through the security check. Here I was checked with a metal detector and was let through as the only metals I had were coins and the metal in my belt.

After this I was waiting in a hall which had lot of exits. These were the gates through I was to go, to board the flight. But before that I had to wait for the the announcement and the gate number for my flight to be flashed. As I was waiting I could only think what was in store for me in Mumbai as I was unsure what process I should go through over there. Soon my Gate number was announced and I got into the airlines bus after showing my ticket. The bus took me to the plane and I boarded the plane through the “portable staircase”!!!

I got seated in seat which was in the aisle side of a three seater and as I was watching the Chennai MTC buses and suburban train through the window, couple of big men excused themselves and sat in the adjoining seats which effectively blocked most of my view.

Soon the plane started , and after taxiing for few minutes it started traveling on a higher speed on the runway

The thrill of take off is to be experienced to be believed. It’s an experience which gives you the excitement of thrusting into sky with the fetish of a roller coaster.Soon I was in the air and I was presented with the most amazing view, I had ever seen in my life as I gaped into the beautiful landscape which emerged beneath with the pinhole view that I could get. As the plane ascended higher and higher one of the huge gentleman opened up a newspaper which completely blocked my view. 

I laid back into my seat with an uncontrolled enthusiasm which was overflowing through my eyes and my involuntary smile.

I knew I had embarked on the most significant journey of my life yet.



To be continued………………….



Check in baggage – the baggage that shall be carried with the plane in a cargo section. Most airlines allow you to carry two baggages with upto 23 Kgs each

Cabin baggage – the baggage that can be taken with you in the plane. Most airlines allow you to carry a single check in baggage upto 8kg.

You can carry a laptop bag or a handbag in addition to this.



Yours,

CVR





Flight number 0468 en route to Mumbai was fast sifting through the clouds of my beloved Chennai. After a brief demonstration of flight safety techniques, we were left alone except for the occasional interludes by the flight attendants for snacks and other refreshments. I exhausted the contents of the local Mumbai newspaper which carried the “Lata Mangeshkar – flyover story” as I tried to take my mind away from my apprehensions about the travel. There was not much luck with the view as the varying postures of the gentlemen between me and the window presented me openings ranging from pinhole to semi-pinhole sizes.

But the one and a half hours drifted away pretty soon and soon I was presented with the gorgeous view of Mumbai at night!!! The lights shone like the glitter off a pretty lady’s dress as my plane swerved in for the landing. If take off was an unexplainable bundle of awe and excitement then landing can be termed as beautiful bunch of moments filled with thrill and anticipation.

As the plane landed I couldn’t help rambling in my mind as to what I should do once I get down. I got into the jet airways bus and was dropped in at the gate.

What do I do now????

I had absolutely no clue!!

I just took my cabin baggage and strolled towards the exit as I was too afraid to just stand there lest I look like a blinking idiot in blazer. My eyes were scanning for a Jet airways office!! After turning down a couple of offers for a hotel from enterprising gentlemen, I went straight to the jet airways stall which was right outside the exit. As I blurted out my questions in the most nervous form of English available, the attendant quickly pulled in another attendant who was comfortable with the language.

After checking my flight ticket he instructed me to collect my baggage and contact the Northwest airways stall(the flight in which I was to travel to Amsterdam). I went back into the airport by showing my boarding pass from Chennai to Mumbai and tried to blend in with the crowd which was waiting for their baggage.

As if out of nowhere a stout short gentleman emerged and said, “You are chakravarthy from Chennai??” I don’t know how he recognized me but this guy from Northwest airlines told me to collect my baggage and contact the officials who were posted in the northwestern corner of the huge room!!!! (What a coincidence!!).I soon collected my baggage and slowly found my way towards those officials and stood in the queue. Soon it was my turn and a neat looking guy approached me. He requested for the passport,ticket and a few other documents like the deputation letter. Then he mechanically asked a few questions like “did you pack your own baggage”, “did you get anything from anyone during your stay in the airport” etc etc as a part of mandatory check. I didn’t know that I was to hear this a few more times before I reach US.

I was given an “embarkment-disembarkment” form which I was to fill in and submit during immigration.


After this he said there won’t be any more baggage checks until I check out my luggage in my final destination. He instructed me to take the shuttle which would take me to the international terminal.

I walked over to the exit which was right around the corner and patiently waited for the shuttle. My mind was jubilant as I was thrilled to be standing in the “New york of India”,the business capital of the nation,the city full of life and vigor. I have been amazed by the efficiency of dabbawallahs and the entrepreneurship of the mumbaikars which had enabled the city to earn a unique place in the country. I have always wanted to visit Mumbai and regretted that it was going to be a very short stay!!

As I stood watching the bill boards I resolved I would visit the city again and spend the time it deserves. Shuttle services are operated between the domestic terminal to the international terminal of the Mumbai airport for free as a complementary service as the distance between the two terminals was not walkable.

The bus travel was hardly 10-15 mins at the end of which i got down at the international terminal. After roaming about a little outside trying to find out the right gate, I walked into the Gate 2 which housed the Northwest airlines stall.


Soon I found the Northwest airlines office and was in front of a bespectacled young lady who peered suspiciously through the glasses.

I gave her my boarding passes and told her that I have to travel to Detroit via Amsterdam. She got my passport and frantically typed something in the keyboard in front of her!

She then asked whether my cabin baggage can be added to the check in baggage as there was no space in the flight cabin for which I obliged as I had all the required documents in my hand baggage.

After that I was guided to the immigration counter where I submitted the “embarkment-disembarkment form”

As I anxiously waited before the official , he stamped a few stuff onto the form and asked.

“which company are you from??”

I said “Infosys”

And as I waited curiously for the next question, he asked “aur kitna badega shares infosys ka?*”

It took me a while to realize that the question was asked on a lighter vein. I smiled politely and got my disembarkment part torn off and given to me. This needs to be given back when come back to India. Then I headed straight to gate 7 which was printed in my gate pass. But it was only 8.30 pm and my flight was at 00.50!!!!

I called home and reclined into a couch (they have quite a few of them lined up!), reading a book presented to me by my former team mates with a bald headed guy on the front cover who happens to be the CEO of GE(yeah it’s the same book featured in the bill board right in front of shols infy).


After a while I passed the security check and waited in the waiting room which opened up into the gate to the plane. As I was waiting for my flight to leave my country I knew that there will be times when I will be waiting to come back!!


To be continued…………

*-how much more the share values rise for Infosys

Ann Arbor post - part II

Ramblings with God

Had written this loooooooooong back(must have been some appraisal time).
Posted it in INK and had forgotten abt it.

Yesterday i got a mail from someone who said she has a part of this poem and whether i have the full piece!!
Well obviously i didnt!!

The funny thing is that somehow she managed to get the full poem and mailed it to me too!!
weird!! isnt it!!!

anyways! here is the poem!! :-) written during my early days (November 2005),so kindly excuse if its too raw and immature!! :-)
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Ramblings with God

Good or Bad , right or wrong

I leave it to thee to decide

Success and failure, highs and lows

I shall take it in my stride



For I have realised

Its You who is playing the game

Boundaries or wickets

For me its all the same



A fool I was

To think I run the show

Who is the boss??

now I clearly know



For the ups and downs i have had

I don’t have any regrets though,

For the moments of confused stillness

And the time amidst friends and foe.



For I know there is a reason

for all this apparent chaos

When things will fall in place

And when the genius of your design shows



Until then I will march along

Doing my best with the work at hand

Figuring out life is left with you

Easier for me, is to count the grains of sand!!

Deal Unto Death – Part XIV

She was standing with the gun pointed at him. Her soft hands barely able to hold the heavy gun without any shake. There were blood on her dress and she looked like a frail bird after a storm. Though it was evident she was not entirely normal due whatever she had been through, there was a clear display of taunt that can be gathered with the erectness with which she stood.
“My God!!! Keerthana!! Are you alright??? What are you doing here??” Ravi stood up.

“Stay right there!!! And don’t move a muscle”

“Keerthana what are doing??? What happened???” Ravi was flabbergasted. He looked down at the corpse and continued.”You know that guy” so saying he looked down at the face of body again. Then he slowly turned towards her and asked.”You killed him????”.

“Oh Ya!!! I killed him!! You are happy now???!!!! This idiot tried to black mail me!!! think about it!! black mail ME!!! I never thought he would go so far as to call you!!!! Idiot!! He was asking for it!!! I should have never hired him to kill Vilas”

“Keerthana calm down , I know you are….” He interrupted suddenly as the words from her mouth registered into his mind!!” You hired him to kill Vilas???????”

“Huh!!! It’s a big story!!! I never thought this idiot would actually go ahead and call you and you would be here so soon. Or else I would have been done with him and gone by now!!! Now I have to figure what the hell am I gonna do with you”

“My God Keerthana!! You were responsible for Vilas’ death!! My God!!how could you do such a thing……”

“Shut up you moron!!! Don’t chatter like an idiot. Yes I killed Vilas ,he was turning out to be an adamant nuisance. I don’t know what I was thinking when I married him”

“You married him???????”

“Hmmm!! Remember the part we were in love during college and Vilas’ parents didn’t agree to the marriage and then we broke up and all that??”

Ravi nodded his head with shock.

“Well!! That story is not entirely true. Its true that I was in love with Vilas in the beginning,but the feeling started to fade away day by day.There were daily some problem with him because of the fight he used to have with his parents and he was not the same old romantic and sweet guy as I had fathomed him to be. He was always cribbing,always angry , always pestering with his thousand worries.I was not sure whether I had made the right choice and as we reached the end of the college I was waiting for a chance to explain everything and dump him once and for all!!
“But fate took a decisive turn when he got a job in bangalore. He started acting even more weirder and wanted to get a commitment in place before he went away from Mumbai. Slowly he started hinting about getting married with the help of his friends. I didn’t think he was really serious about it until he started explaining his elaborate plans. We were to be registered married with the help of couple of his friends Sameer and Akbar. I was too shocked to say anything. I was too confused to formulate a plan of a break up and had been dilly dallying, hoping for a right chance to present itself. This situation was developing way too fast. In the confusion I was not bold enough to take a decisive action and went ahead with the plans like a lamb.
“But the relationship was a non starter right from the beginning.It didn’t even have a honey moon period as obviously we didn’t even have a honeymoon. We continued to live separately , our friends and relatives unaware of our marriage , just like the movie “Saathiya”. Our quarrels increased as I grew more unforgiving and demanding due to the marriage , for which I wasn’t totally ready. Our quarrels grew more and more and shouts became louder and louder.
“That was when my parents fixed an alliance for me, He was a nice boy working in US and was planning to settle there. I knew that was the life that I had always wanted to have. Now I was double sure I wanted to be separated from Vilas as soon as possible. I told him that I want a divorce. He didn’t agree.He said that the quarrels are just temporary and were natural in any married life. That idiot didn’t know that my alliance had been fixed with the US guy. I tried to increase the pressure and make him agree by various means. That moron never budged. That’s when I decided to contact kalia. I had know kalia during my college days. My friend’s dad who was a politician had hired him to take care of some boys who used to tease us. I used to see Kalia a lot in my friend’s place as he used to come to meet her dad in relation to his business. His full time job was to kill,maim,kidnap or simply beat up anyone in return for money. He had been quite handy to quite a few politicians in the area so he never stayed in jail for too long,no matter what crime he commited. He is an orphan has no friends but he had a lot of evidences against a lot of big wigs with which he commanded respect in the elite circles.
“I contacted him to get Vilas killed. I made it abundantly clear that the death should look like a suicide. Being a thorough professional, he did his job cleanly. He strangled Vilas to death with a nylon rope and hanged him in the hall to make it look like a suicide. I was hoping that the police would buy that setup but had never thought anybody would hire a private detective for his death.
“I was shocked when you made that call to me ,but by the time Kalia had also intimated that someone had been hired to investigate Vilas’ death. Moreover he started blackmailing me with more money long before you met me. He used to torture me day and night with the calls until I wanted to put an end to it all . I knew that not a soul would be worried if he dies as all his supporters will only heave a sigh of relief when they learn that their black mailer is gone for good. Also there are so many goondas in Mumbai that he wouldn’t be missed for long.
“My plan was to finish him off as that would totally annihilate any evidence of my relation with Vilas. One of the two friends who came for my registered marriage kabir, was dead in a plane accident and I made sure sameer was also silenced ,by convincing Kalia that he is a menace for both of us”
Ravi was listening to all this without closing his mouth. He just couldn’t believe it. It was totally crazy and incredible.
“But..but……………but how can you single handedly kill a professional killer”
“Huh!! A girl can make a guy do anything if only she knows how to seduce him or make him sympathise for her. Guys are such morons that they can do anything from dancing on their head to leaving their hand gun unattended when they feel there is a helpless girl in front of them. It’s the burning callousness and pride of being a man that prevents them take a girl too seriously. Kalia too walked around laughing as I acted as if Iam a defenceless girl begging for his mercy. I still cant forget the ridicule in his eyes as he saw me pick up the gun as he was seated on the chair negotiating a unfair deal. He thought I wouldn’t go ahead and shoot him !!! that IDIOT”
Just then they could hear the noise of heavy boots climbing up the stairs.
Keerthana got anxious and ran towards the window shaft to look out side. Her eyes grew wider as she saw police jeeps parked at a distance.
“You really thought I would come here alone without intimating the police.Iam a private detective remember ??” Ravi said.
Keerthana’s eyes burnt with anger as she stared at him as if he were a worm. For a second she contemplated whether to put a bullet into his head. Then she realized it would only complicate things and would turn out to be a pointless exercise.
She turned around quickly to make her way out of the house through the rear stairs adjoining the balcony. But she could see that the exit was covered as constables entered the room after climbing up the rear stairs. Couple of other policemen rushed in to the room from the other entrance.
Keerthana was stranded. For a split second her mind was busy thinking whether there was anyway possible to make up a story and make the police believe that Ravi was the one who killed Kalia. But she was over powered by the huge wave of disappointment over the fact that she was in a huge mess anyway and there was no way she can get out of this silently. There was an inexplainable anger fuming in her heart as she realized that all her plans of marrying and settling in US was most certainly washed away.As the heavy surge of emotions built up, her hands involuntary put the gun inside her mouth at the heat of the moment and she pulled the trigger.



Ravi was in Meena’s room. It had been over one months after Keerthana’s suicide. On the fateful day Ravi had called Meena soon after he had cancelled his meeting with Rishi. Meena was shocked to hear about Sameer’s death and had told him that it was Sameer who had contacted Meena for the case. Sameer had specifically told Meena not to disclose it as he had thought that it would prevent Ravi from investigating the case with a fresh mind without assumptions. Meera also advised Ravi to intimate the police about his visit as she strongly suspected that something fishy was going to happen.

They didn’t speak for a long time. Ravi was visibly a bit shaken by the case. He suddenly started talking.
“So is this the state of love nowadays??”
“wh…what??” Meena questioned as she couldn’t catch the context.
“A gal kills her own husband because she got a better alliance. Is the love estimated only based on the happiness that it gives?? Isnt the love strong enough to see through the problems,issues and lean times??? Is it just me or does love only mean roaming around the city or having physical pleasure and showing off your mate ??? Isnt it a feeling of companionship,standing by the partner during bad times and being a support during challenges and showing affection and care when they really need the most”
“Ravi!! I think you are being too romantic about things.People are inherently selfish. There is nothing right or wrong about that. They cant carry on with something when they don’t believe it wont benefit them. That is the result of evolution where survival was possible only if you are the fittest and there were no extra mark for kindness. My husband went to somebody else because I wasn’t getting pregnant. I know iam putting it too bluntly but that’s the truth. May be it was little animal like behaviour,but we are animals basically. Keerthana wanted a happy life.she had dreams, she wanted to settle in US and she believed Vilas would fulfill her dream. So she loved him but when she realized that she was getting only trouble ,the love went away.” Meena replied
“Do you even call that love??? Wouldn’t the love stay through the thick and thin if it were really true love. Couples take a vow to stay together for better or for worse when they get married.’Till death do us apart’ they say. It’s a deal unto death. A life long companionship, which will take you through pain and pleasure and everything in between.damn!! I cant even believe I have to argue for this!! Aint it obvious”Ravi shook his head as he shrugged his shoulders.
“Such true love is very rare. Husband or wife serving his or her spouse even when the other one is in a vegetable state.All that is very very rare. Hardly you will find a madhavan marrying a vidya balan and holding her in his hands for decades as she talks about all her stories to abishek bacchan” Meena was referring to a recent movie where there is a character marries a girl who is physically challenged. Then she went on saying”By the way Vilas’ marriage with Keerthana was also a deal unto death !! Infact it was a deal that led to his death. Ha ha ha” she laughed out.
“I don’t find this a laughing matter Meena. Call me old fashioned but I shall only fall for a love that is selfless and pure otherwise I would rather stay single all my life”Ravi ended.
“Welcome to the world of lifelong singlehood ,coming to think of it,it aint so bad as it sounds” Meena smiled as she leaned back on her chair.

--THE END

Deal Unto Death – Part XIII

Ravi was not still out of the disbelief even after coming out of the police station. It had happened just too fast. He couldn’t believe that someone with whom he had talked , laughed and hanged out with just the previous day could be dead. He decided to go to Sameer’s place and collect any evidence that he can get. He knew that there could be a lot of connection between Vilas’ death and Sameer’s murder and Sameer might have been killed to stop him from blurting out anymore than he had already done. He also remembered that he had a meeting with Rishi at 10 and didn’t want to miss that by any chance. So he decided to meet Rishi and then go to Sameer’s place. He also thought that he had to talk to Meera to update her about the developments about the case and to seek her inputs before moving forward.
Just as he picked up the phone to make the call he received a call on his mobile. The display panel simply showed “unknown number” so there was no way he could guess as to who was calling him.
“Hello”
“Getting confused?? Afraid?? Don’t know what to do???ha ha ha “ A coarse voice mocked him at the other end.
“Hello!!Who is this??” Ravi got a little anxious.
“You don’t have to be concerned about that one bit.What you have to be concerned about is,how did Vilas die?? How did Sameer die.As a detective you should be more concerned about all this instead of my name”
“Who are you?? Do you know who killed Sameer”
“May be!! May be I can even tell you how did Vilas die. How much would you want to hear scene by scene depiction of what happened to Vilas minutes before he died??” The voice went on with the unrelenting coarseness. By this time Ravi was sure that the voice was fake and was used to cover the identity of the person actually behind the call.
“How do I trust you?? You can be the biggest lunatic having fun making crank calls, for all I know”
“It could be that or it could be the biggest outside help any detective had ever received in his case and you blew it coz you weren’t smart enough. You aint gonna lose anything by spending a bit of time on a false lead,but imagine how much you will lose if you fail to take a genuine break in the case!!”
Ravi started to think!!
“Why are you doing this?? Why would somebody do this??”
“May be Iam short of cash and want to make hay while the sun shines or may be I am really sad about poor Vilas’s demise and want to help. What the hell do you care”
There was silence for a few moments.
“Ok where can I meet you??”
“Now you are talking!!”so saying the voice gave him an address in one of the growing suburbs of Mumbai.
“I will be there in another one hour”
“or you miss me!! choose yourself” so saying the voice stopped.
The line was disconnected. Ravi was staring at his mobile for a few minutes and then started walking faster to reach his destination as soon as possible. He called up Rishi and told him that he wouldn’t be able to make it to the meeting. After an initial surprise Rishi agreed. Ravi felt that Rishi sounded as if he had already knew that Ravi is going to cancel the meeting.

Ravi knew that the caller had picked his spot really well as soon as he entered the locality. The place was eerily empty and was covered with few houses here and there. Soon he reached the place where he was told to come. It was a fairly big house and looked like the construction was abandoned at a point when it was almost over. It looked as if nobody had stepped on its floor for well over three four years. The walls were not plastered and there were no doors or windows. But the house was so big that if at all anything happened inside the inner rooms of the house, nobody would ever know.
Ravi stepped on the entrance without the steps and stood there wondering what to do. There was pin drop silence except for the wind that sounded like a distant scream . He stopped moving and had a good look around the house. There was a huge hall and spiral steps leading up to the first floor. There were entrances to other rooms one of which had a huge rectangular hole in the wall and it was clear that the room was proposed to be a kitchen.
“Hellllllllloooooooo……..anybody home” Ravi called as he tried to control the shrill in his voice.
There was no answer. He slowly stepped forward into the dark room as there were no lights and also because of the gloom that had set in the building because of its age. He made his way towards the spiral stairs with his boots making a spooky noise as it crushed the rubble beneath. He could see some more rooms but he instinctively chose to take the stairs. He let out another call of communication as he moved up the stairs.
“Is anyone there??? ………Can anyone hear me???............Hellooooooooo”
He could barely hear a slight echo of his own voice and nothing else.
Soon he reached the first floor. After reaching there he can see that there was a huge room and a passage on the right hand side with more rooms on its way.
On entering the huge room he could see someone sitting on a chair with his back to him. On the other end of the room there were two entrances taking leading into two different rooms.
“Oh here you are!! I have been looking all over for you. Cant you give me a reply” Ravi called out , slightly surprised at the lack of nervousness in his voice.
The guy on the chair did not reply. Ravi walked on towards the chair.
“I was…. Was thinking you might be down…..how the hell did you find this place anyway??”
There was still no reply from the guy, but by this time Ravi had reached very near to the guy.
“why dude??!! Wont reply me” so saying he placed his hand on the shoulder as his eyes grew wide on seeing the traces of blood near the guy.
The body fell to the floor spilling out some more blood as Ravi noticed the trail of blood coming from the nearby room ending up in the chair.Though Ravi had seen a lot of blood in his profession,this was the first time he was with a dead body before the police arrived. He had been shot several times with bullet wounds on his chest and stomach.
“Dammit” he cried out loud and bent on to the body and check for the pulse. It was dead. The face was oddly recognizable.He thought for a while until it struck him that it was the same guy who accidentally hit him in the mall the previous day before he met sameer. Ravi’s heart beat doubled and the blood grew hot as he perspired heavily due to the unexpected occurrences. Just then he heard someone walking and turned around to see someone moving into the room from the room on the left.
It was her.
……to be continued.

Deal Unto Death – Part XIV

Deal Unto Death – Part XII

The next morning Ravi was awakened from his sleep by a call on his mobile. He picked it up.
“Hello..?”
“Mr.Ravi???”
“Ya speaking..”
“This is inspector Rajiv speaking.Do you know anyone by the name Sameer by any chance??”
“Ya…I just met him yesterday”
“Oh….ok..Mr.Ravi..Iam sorry to say that Sameer is dead”
“What???? My Goooooooooooood….when did this happen?? I was talking to him even yesterday night.”
“He was found dead in his room where he stays alone.The maid who comes everyday to clean up the room found him shot and intimated the police”
“My God….How did this happen????..............you got any leads,finger prints??”
“Mr.Ravi will you be able to come over to the police station.We would like to have a chat with you”
“Sure!! I am coming there right now”
Ravi jumped out of the bed.
He couldn’t believe whatever he heard in the telephonic conversation. He was wondering whether it was a dream as he had just got out of the bed. He freshened himself and called the inspector to confirm the location of the police station and then hurried to the place.
The police station was typical of what you can normally find in an indian police station.He could see two cells as he entered the station and could see that the inspector behind the desk talking on the phone with someone. The inspector looked at Ravi and pointed at the chair in front of him with a professional smile which disappeared from his face as quickly as it appeared.
Soon he was done with the call and replaced the receiver and looked at Ravi.
“You must be Ravi “he told Ravi.
“Yes Sir.Ravi…….Ravi Prasad…”He stretched his handshake.
“Iam inspector Rajiv” he shook hands across the table.
“How did this happen??? When did this happen??”Ravi couldn’t wait.
“It happened yesterday when Sameer was wait. We are yet to find out how the assailant broke into the house. Sameer was shot on his head as the murderer probably didn’t want to take a chance. I guess the gun must probably be of the .22 calibre variety,mostly stolen,hardly capable of inflicting instant fatal injury unless shot on the head. Seems like the assailant didn’t want to leave anything to chance.”
“Oh my god!! You got any leads??do you have any suspects??”
“That’s where you come in!! Your number was in his latest dialled numbers list,so we got in touch with you.”
“I had met him in relation to one of the cases I was investigating. Iam a private detective from Bangalore assigned with the job of investigating the death of Mr.Vilas.He was found hanging in his room in Bangalore”
The inspector clearly hadn’t expected this and leaned in his chair with his eyebrows raised.It looked as if he was expecting to hear more from him.
“This is my card” Ravi drew a business card from his wallet and gave it to the inspector.
“Hmmmm…so what were you talking to Sameer about?”the inspector asked as he was looking into the card.
“Generally about the case. His friendship with the victim and whatever he knew about his last days”
“where did you meet him”
“In a restaurant near crossroad”
“and then you went home??”
“No.Then we went to marine drive as he offered to show around the place as I hadn’t done any site seeing in Mumbai”
“How long were with him??”
“Totally some 3 four hours I guess”
“At what time did you see him last??”
“Around 7-7.30 I think”
“then you went home??”
“ya”
“Didn’t talk to him or contact him in anyway after that??”
“No”
“hmmm” the inspector seemed to be processing the answers from Ravi and trying to join the threads to piece together a logic.
“Are you aware of anyone following you or something during your meeting with Sameer ??”
“No Sir not that I am aware of”
“Can you think of anything out of the ordinary,that you noticed during your meeting with him yesterday??”
Ravi couldn’t recall anything.
“No Sir”
“Hmmm” the iinspector again got into his thinking mode as silence prevailed in the room for some more time.
“How long are you planning to stay here Mr.Ravi”
“I dunno,it depends on the progress I make in the case”
“Can you guess how long will that be based on the progress you have achieved so far??”
“hmm…..Iam not sure…there is still a fair amount of way to go”
“Will you be able to help us in the investigation whenever we need your inputs?? I think we would be required to contact with a few more questions as the case proceeds”
“Sure thing”
“Thank you for your cooperation Mr.Ravi. I really appreciate your coming in here today”, So saying the inspector rose from his seat.
“No problems, please feel free to contact me if you have anything to ask me”Ravi shook the hands with the inspector and left.
The inspector had his eyes fixed at Ravi as he left the room.
The head constable came up to the inspector and said, “I cant think of a motive sir”
“That’s the only god damn reason that stopping me from booking him in!!” the inspector replied as he continued to stare at the exit through which Ravi went out of the room.
……..to be continued.
Deal Unto Death – Part XIII

Deal Unto Death – Part XI

As he turned around thinking about the new addition to the list of people he had been meeting regarding this case, he hit a huge man who turned up from nowhere.

“heeey…….dont have eyes kya??....cant you see someone coming in front of you??”

He was a burly and big and was slightly bald even though he wasn’t all that old.

“oh…Iam sorry………I was just…..thinking about something…….didnt notice”

“If it were somebody else ,would have given you nicely………….open your eyes and look your path before you walk!! Understand??”

So saying he started walking.Ravi looked at the man walking away and wondered whether it really was his fault.The man turned back to look at him and then went on his way as he walked on.

Ravi shook his head and started moving towards the restaurant. After reaching the place he was thinking how to find out whether Sameer had arrived. As he looking around,he saw a young gentleman approaching him as if he was looking for someone.

“Ravi ???”

“Ya” Ravi replied with a smile.

“Sameer!!”he introduced himself, and said ”Welcome to Mumbai” he stretched his hands for shake.

“Thanks”Ravi shook hands with him.

They entered the restaurant and found a table to sit.After ordering some light snacks, Sameer started to talk.

“So…Mr.Ravi…how is Mumbai?? You have been here before??”

“No..this is my first visit…haven’t got much of a chance to explore,have been pretty busy right from the minute I came here”

“Wanted to talk to you ever since I learnt you came here, finally got the chance now only!!”

Ravi merely smiled in reply.

“So you got any leads in the case??”

“The investigation is still on and I am learning more and more by the day”

“Good” He replied ,while it was abundantly clear that he wanted a lot more information from Ravi than what he had just heard.

“You and Vilas have been friends for a while??”

The glow on Sameer’s face darkened a little as he took some time to recollect himself from the grief of losing his friend.

“Me and Vilas have been friends for a long time!! I met him when I came to Mumbai after my tenth. I grew up in a small village and my parents sent me here so that I can get a better education. I can never tell you what was so special in him that drew me to him and vice versa .But we were thick friends right from the beginning. We studied together, roamed around together , watched movies together, checked out the girls together……….well you will never find us either of us alone….Luckily when we finished school we got admission in the same college, same class. College only made our friendship stronger.We studied,played and took part in all other activities together. We were the best buddies. Uh…..I understand that Pooja had told you about Keerthana??”

Ravi shook his head vertically to concur with Sammer

“He had told me about his love before anybody else and used to crib about his inability to propose to her. I was the one who pushed him to tell her about his love. I was overjoyed when I heard when she had agreed to his proposal and I used to motivate him whenever he used to be upset by the opposition to his love. I wished I could just stay with him and hang on until he is through with the situation. But the situation never improved. I seriously believed the change in location will help him forget about his pains and help him start a new page in his life. But……I never expected this”

“Hmmm” Ravi looked down as if he was assimilating the stuff told by Sameer and was trying to fit things together.Then he looked up to Sameer and asked.

“How about this Rishi?? Where does he fit in”

On hearing this Sameer heaved a sigh as if preparing himself to say something that he really didn’t want to say.

“Rishi………….Well……We had problems with Rishi…long before we knew he was connected to Pooja”

Ravi raised his left eyebrow as a sign of surprise and question.

“There is another face of Vilas which most people do not know,not even his parents and sister. Being a short tempered guy, he would get into misunderstandings with a lot of people which could end up with violent repercussions. He had been involved in various street fights with gangs from different colleges. The reason need not be anything special and any simple provocation can build up to something nasty. I know this because I had been with him during those violent encounters myself. Typically it would be a minor street fight spanning just a few minutes.An odd blow here and there,but never escalated to police cases or something. We gained the enemity of Rishi in one such unfortunate fight. He was part of another gang from another college and with every meeting our relationship with him went sour.”

“So you guys were part of a gangwar” Ravi interrupted.

“Gang war is probably a very strong term to be used for this. When you are in college ,your blood is always hot and you are constantly looking for something to break so that you can prove your strength.And one thing leads to another and.….. you know……” he shrugged his shoulders. “I know a lot of my friends and seniors who were in to this.But once they are out of college and into a job and all that , they somehow get removed from all this. I haven’t had any tussle with anyone ,for sometime now ever since I got out of college”

“So Vilas had a problem when Pooja introduced Rishi as her boy friend??”

“Obviously, Vilas tried his best to make peace. Since he himself had a experience of love he was more understanding to his sister’s cause.He tried to reason with Rishi and become friendly with him through phone calls when he was in Bangalore. But the conversation always used to turn sour due to some misunderstanding or the other.They just couldn’t bury the hatred and start from a clean slate. Vilas even came to Mumbai to have a meet with him. I was there with him during the meet,where the situation went so hopeless,that in the end they came to blows. Vilas walked away shouting that he would make sure Pooja does not marry Rishi as long as he is alive.After that he had been advising his sister to forget Rishi.”

“hmmmmmm”Ravi patiently collected the words into his mind and after a brief moment,spelt out the question that was building up in his heart.

“You think Rishi could have killed Vilas to get him away from his path??’

“cheezzze….That would be an overkill…I mean………I had never thought about it ……………Could he do that??...would he do such a thing” Sameer ended up replying with a question rather than an answer.

They talked to each other for a long time. After leaving the restaurant, Sameer took Ravi to marine drive where they talked for hours together. In the end when he bade him good bye and left for his hotel he felt as if he had found his first friend in Mumbai.

That nice feeling was rudely disturbed next morning when he got a call from the local police inspector.

……………to be continued.

Deal Unto Death – Part XII

Deal Unto Death – Part X

Keerthana took some time to reminisce in the past, to get back to the happy times. The beautiful days that made her heart bloom with the scent of love and the eventual heart break that left an inerasable scar.

“I knew he was special right from the beginning.He was not just another friend and the way my heart used to beat whenever I saw him, I knew it was more than mere friendship.But I was confused , I was not sure whether I was really in love and I used to suffer the pain of hidden love in my heart. I was sure ,Vilas was going through the same but I never had the courage to make the first move. But I didn’t have to. He proposed to me in the third year. Apparently he too had something going about me right from the beginning,but was never sure how to go about it. I was ecstatic when I heard him tell me that he was in love with me but I was put in even more confusing state then.

I knew our parents wouldn’t be too happy to hear the news. There were too many complexities and there is fair amount of social inequalities and segregations in our society.But he was after me all the time and persuaded me to agree to him. He was the sweetest and kindest lover anybody can get”

She paused a little as her heart was going through a fair amount of pain and she had to recollect herself.Then she continued.

“One day we were spotted by his neighbor and his parents found out we were in love. They were really very adamant and weren’t even ready to talk. He used to comfort me saying that they will yield to us with time. But it never happened. Day by day, the situation only worsened and his attitude towards me was also turning sour. He was not the same sweet,kind and soft Vilas and I got to see a more cranky and angry version of him from time to time. By this time we had graduated from our college and were looking for a job and that’s when he landed on a job in Bangalore. I totally freaked out. I pestered him to no ends to make his parents agree somehow and one fine day, just a few days before he was to leave Mumbai,he exploded. I had never seen Vilas so angry and he even raised his hand in a fit of rage. I came home crying and fuming. That night I didn’t sleep and was thinking all through. I decided that if I carry on with my relationship with him then all the days of my future shall turn out to be like what happened that day.If this is the way he was going to behave then there was no guarantee as too how he will turn out after marriage. I knew I had to take a practical decision rather than being an emotional fool.

“The next day I called up Vilas and told him this wasn’t going to work out. He apologized to me saying that he was under a lot of stress and all that but I told him very clearly that this wasn’t with that one off incident. He tried to meet me a lot of times and called me a million other times. I ignored him all through. He even tried to contact through our mutual friends.I used to cut off the phone as soon as I heard his voice.Sure it wasn’t easy for me and my heart was torn into pieces everytime he tried to contact me,but I just had to do it.I knew I was doing it for his good too.It was the only logical solution to the problem ,hard as it might be for me and for him.”

There was an uneasy silence between the two. Ravi was stirring the cup with the spoon even though the coffee had been mixed well and had gone cold.He just couldn’t help thinking about his lost love and empathize with the pain

“My parents never knew about this affair all through and when they started looking for a groom I couldn’t find any reason to say no. I had to move on with my life and try to forget the past. But the past does not leave me in peace and keeps coming back to me to haunt me in my sleep!!”

There were tears in her eyes. Ravi felt really bad for conceiving the meeting.

“I….Iam sorry” he blurted out.

“That’s fine” she said ,wiping off her tears before anybody could suspect anything.

“I think I owe you a really big thanks ……….for you coming here and all that……”.He said

“That’s fine!! If only we understand why he committed suicide we can let his soul and my past rest in peace. I never knew he would take the break up so hard“

“hmmmmm….”Ravi just replied with a elongated sigh.

“I got to go now.There will be doubts if I take time”

“Of course, I really appreciate you agreeing to meet me!”

“No problems…………uh..” she looked at the cashier’s desk as if she was wondering about the bill.

“I will take care of it.Dont worry about it” he quickly said.

“Bye”she said and got up.

“Take care” he said and watched her leave the place.

He was calmly thinking to himself for a while and left the place after paying the bill.

He had lunch before going to the hotel and started adding the newly acquired information in the case file. Just then there was a call from Rishi.

“Dude…tell you what…think I cant make it today evening…but I got time at around 3…think you can make it??”

He was really getting under the skin of Ravi and Ravi made a conscious effort not to be angry or sarcastic.

“Hmmm .. think that should be fine”

“OK man!! See you there” the line was cut.

Ravi estimated the time and left for Cross road, the agreed place of the meeting. He entered the shopping mall and tried to find out his way to the hang out they had agreed to meet. After reaching there , Ravi gave him a call.

“Oh …Ravi??.Uh ….tell you what……..something came up man….dont think I can make it right now……..how about tomm??”

Ravi couldn’t take it any longer.

“Listen Mr.Rishi!! this is not a joke,If you are not willing to cooperate I will have to take up the assistance of the police to get to interrogate you through the legal channel”

“wowow!!chill down dude!! Am all for cooperation and all man!! Just that I was a bit tied up!! Come on its Pooja’s brother!! You know !! the guy was sure a pain but what am I gonna gain by not talking to you”

“So you will definitely meet me tomorrow??”

“Sure man ten o clock,pucca!!”

“Good see you tomorrow” he cut the call rather rudely. But he was angry and was not very happy to be made to come to the place for nothing. That’s when he got another call. He picked up the line.

“Hello”

“Hello! Can I speak to Ravi”

“Speaking”

“Hi!! This is Sameer!! Vilas’ friend”

Ravi raised his eyebrow.

“I have been trying to reach you but I had got the wrong number from Pooja.just verified with her and got the right number.I want to meet you”

“Oh Iam currently not in my place,just out in cross road to meet someone”

“You are in cross road now???”

“Ya!!”

“Oh cool , I am very near to the place right now. You got time now?? Or can I meet someother time??”

“We can meet now I guess”

“Great just stay there”

Then they confirmed the name of the restaurant where they can meet up.Ravi heaved a sigh.It was getting more and more interesting.

…..to be continued.

Deal Unto Death – Part XI

Deal Unto Death – Part IX

The next morning when he woke up, he was very fresh and enthusiastic.He quickly had his breakfast and prepared a detailed report to be filed in the case file based on the conversation he had with the various witnesses for this case.

He added the meetings,the information he got from them and also his interpretations and leads based on his analysis of the statements from the witnesses.

He was still not completely ready to rule out the suspects he had short listed during his meetings in Bangalore. The case sure had become very complicated due to the facts about Vilas’ problems on the personal front , but the problems he had in Bangalore, in his office and with his room mates etc could not be ruled out totally as well. And his death could be due to any of the two, or worse it could have been due to a crazy combination of both. And his job was to fit the pieces of the puzzle in its place and make sense of the plethora of information thrown at him. He also realized that he still had quite a bit of unexplored territory to conquer and the more he learned, the more he will be able to recreate the past.

After noting down his findings in the case file he spent some time trying to assimilate his thoughts. Then he called up Meena.

He told her about his meetings and explained her the story of Vilas as told by the various people he met .He also described the character profile of Pooja,Vilas’ dad and Keerthana as per his perception. Meena was listening to all this,asking relevant questions at each point. As he was talking to Meena Ravi got the intimation of another call in his mobile.It was from Keerthana. He promised to call back Meena before disconnecting and attended the one from Keerthana. Keerthana confirmed her meeting with him and the place and told him that she will come to the coffee shop at 11:30 am.

“What a time to have coffee!!”,He remarked

“Ah well,that’s the time when the crowd will be the least and we aren’t exactly meeting there to have coffee.I have chosen the time and place in such a way that we have the least chance of getting spotted”

“Ya I understand that!!.”

“Hmm Ok,see you there” she disconnected the line.

He called back Meena and told her that Keerthana had confirmed the timings for the meeting.

“What are you possibly gonna achieve by bothering that poor girl”she asked.

“I don’t know madam!! My gut feel tells me to meet her”

“As a fellow detective,I have all the respect for your gut feels.I only hope you don’t end up ruining her life”

“I shall try not to do any more damage than what I had already done”

“All the best” He could hear her smile.

“Thanks” he disconnected the line.

It was 10.30 by then and he wasn’t sure where exactly was Ullhasnagar.He tried to get some information and direction from the receptionist of the hotel.As he came to his room he realized that he had totally forgotten to contact Pooja’s boyfriend.

He promptly dialed the number.The phone was picked up almost instantly.

“Rishi speaking”

“Hi this is Ravi,Iam a detective from bangalore”

Rishi’s voice interrupted even before he can finish.

“Oh…Oh ya!! Pooja called me!! told me abt you”there was a strange tone of defiance and aggression in his voice.

“oh good!! I was thinking whether I can meet you sometime”

“You want to meet me?? well lemme see………hmmmmmmm……….”he was taking a fairly long time to think mumbling some stuff to himself all the while before he said,“how abt today evening ?? around 7??”

“hmm sure, that should be fine”

“Dude…wait a minute……..think I wont be available this evening!! How about tomorrow?”

“Oh ok!! Tomorrow at what time??”

“Hmmmm tell you what?? We can have today evening!! Guess I should be able to make it”

Ravi was just a little bit annoyed with Rishi’s mannerism,but he patiently confirmed the timing one more time. Rishi suggested that the meeting be in a famous hangout in Cross road for which Ravi agreed without any qualms.

After the call he had just enough time to reach the place. He hurriedly went in and thanked the Gods for being able to find the place without getting lost. Otherwise he would have been late for the meeting for sure. He looked around to see whether he could find some one looking for him. He was wondering whether he should call keerthana as he sat near one of the tables laid there.

Just then a lady in burkha neared him and asked.

“Mr.Ravi??”

He gave a bewildered look into the face covered by the veil and said.”yes??”

Then the lady lifted her veil as she said “Iam Keerthana” and sat in the opposite chair.

The lifted veil revealed a beautiful face with a fair complexion with a noticeably big piercing on her nose. She had sharp features and a heart shaped face that made it impossible for any man to resist looking at her twice.There was a fair amount of mystery in her face which would make anybody to look at her again and again in search of the answer they will never find,the extra something that she hid it in her face. The face , polished by the pride of the knowledge that people are unaware of, that extra something that made her beauty stand out from the rest of the beauty queens.

“Nice idea” remarked Ravi in reference to the attire she had chosen for the meeting.

She let out a measured smile which slowly turned in to an expression of sadness in a rate more smoother than the precision of a satellite launch.

“What happened…how can this happen??”

“We are figuring out the events that led to his death. That’s the reason I want to talk to you”

“How did he die?? Were there any traces!! I mean…. any evidences”

“The police is still working on it!!I am trying to piece together the people and events in his life,trying to make sense of his situation”

“Hmm,Iam sure he must have been under a lot of stress.A break up is never an easy thing to take. Especially for a man of Vilas’ ego”

“Hmmm,lemme ask you something Do you think its possible that he might have commited suicide?”

“Well its hard to say ,I would have never imagined Vilas to commit suicide,but human mind is a strange thing….you never know”

They ordered for coffee and the drink was served.

Vilas knew its time for him to go for the kill.

“Keerthana!! Can you tell me why you broke up??”

Keerthana placed the cup on the table after sipping the drink with involuntary care so as to make sure that her lipstick did not make a mark on the cup.

“The day I met Vilas,I knew that he was going to be someone whom I might never forget in my life.I just didn’t know it would be for all the wrong reasons”

Ravi forgot that he had a cup of coffee in front of him on the table that was fast becoming cold.. He leaned forward to make sure he did not miss even a single word from her mouth.

……..to be continued.

Deal Unto Death – Part X

Deal Unto Death – Part VIII

There was no doubt in Ravi’s mind that, for all he knew he might be kicking up the dirt on a forgotten land and might end up hurting someone without any results, but he wanted to call her anyway, guided by his gut feel.

At around seven o clock in the evening , after dilly dallying for minutes together he dialed in the number of Keerthana that he had noted down from Pooja.

It started ringing on the other end.After some 2-3 rings he could hear a sweet female voice saying.”Hello”

He forgot to breathe for a moment. He was wondering whether to cut the call and forget about the whole thing. But he was surprised to hear himself saying.

“Hi….Uh……Iam………….Ravi…..Ravi from Bangalore.I would like to talk to you…….uh………is this a right time to talk or…….can I call you some other time??”

“Hello who is this?”

By this time Ravi was clear that he had taken the plunge and he better get his act in place than making a fool of himself.

“Iam Ravi.Iam a private detective.Uh..wanted to …I wanted to talk to you regarding the death of Mr.Vilas Achrekar”

There was no sound for sometime. He can barely hear some elderly lady asking Keerthana who was on the phone. Soon after she said “wrong number” and disconnected the call.

Ravi was pretty disappointed with himself.He kept on repeating to himself “I shouldn’t have called” in a feeble voice.After exactly three and a half minutes,his mobile phone started vibrating.It was a call from Keerthana.Ravi promptly picked up the phone.He realized that she cut the call as there were people around her and removed herself to a private place from where she could talk alone.

“Hello”

“Hello Mr………..Mr..whatever!! Do you think this is a joke??”

“No madam!! Iam serious…Iam……..Iam a detective”

“where did you get this number??”

“I got this from his old diary.I went to meet his family today afternoon.His sister Pooja found out for me”

There was silence for a few seconds.Then Keerthana asked as if the fact had just hit her.

“Vilas is dead?????”

“Yes…Iam sorry..I know this could be a really shocking news for you”

“My God! When……How……..What happened?? How can this happen???”

“It was tragic……He ..He was found hanging in his room in Bangalore”Ravi replied.

“Oh My God”

He could hear her voice breaking up and could start hearing the weeping sound from the other end,Then he heard her say”

“how could this happen??”she was still weeping.

“that’s what I want to find out.so I wanted to contact you and wanted to see whether you might have any information”

“me??Iam…”her speech was broken down by the outburst of emotions.After a moment of self control she started to talk“Me and Vilas met in college. We studied in the same group. At first we were friends but all our friends used to tease us saying that we were a perfect match. After some 2 years our friendship bloomed into love. He was the one who proposed to me. Initially I didn’t agree even though I was madly in love with him . We were not of the same caste and I knew our parents wouldn’t agree to our love. But he convinced me saying that we can get them to agree. The months after that were the happiest of my life”She paused a little as she struggled to control the surge of emotions playing on her.

“We were seen as the best couple in our college and amidst all of our friends. We went around together to all movies restaurants and every other hangout in Mumbai.We were spotted by his neighbor during one such outing. That’s when all hell broke loose.

“His parents were very very adamant over our issue, a lot more than Vilas had anticipated. After a long struggle I knew this wasn’t going to work out.So……”

He could hear that she was taking a deep breath as she said”We broke up some 6 months back. Just before he left for Bangalore.

“I am engaged with some other guy now and my marriage is fixed next month.”

Ravi had never expected this and the message sure was a rude shock for hin.This news did have a fair influence in Ravi’s thought process. He was sure that he wouldn’t want to disturb her as she was trying to forget her past and trying to get on with her life. Also he wasn’t sure whether to congratulate her for the engagement or not. He ended up muttering.

“Oh……Iam……..sorry…and ….”

He realized he was making a mess of things.

“Initially I was wondering whether I can have a meeting with you but I didn’t know you were…uh…..engaged and all”

“I cant this believe this happened.why did he have to hang himself”

“That’s wht we are trying to find out…listen….when was the last time he contacted you??”

“uh…..Well it must be around 3 months back.He tried to contact me and I cut the call on my mobile as soon as I saw his number”

“After that you haven’t heard anything from him”

“Nopes!!! I thought he took the point and decided to give up”

Ravi had thousands of questions in his mind. He was dying to know the circumstances and happenings that led to the breakup. But he didn’t want to talk about it over the phone also he was a little hesitant over having to disturb her. He was in a dilemma.

“Is there anyway I can meet you to discuss about this…I mean….I understand that you are engaged and all…..”

“what???.........see!! nobody from my family knows that I was in love with Vilas,not even my parents.what if any of them see me with you?? What if someone of the groom’s family see me with you?? How will I be able to explain the meeting??”

“Ya ya …I understand …Just that I thought it would be clearer if we had a meeting…thought it would help me in the case…to understand things better”

“see…I really want to help you………even I want to know why he hanged himself …………but…..wait a min….we can do this way”

It looked like she was seriously engrossed in some thinking for sometime.

“We can meet at……..ummmmm”she was thinking for a while and then she mentioned the name of a famous coffee shop in Ullhasnagar.Ravi noted down the place and address.

“We can meet tomorrow sometime at the afternoon,that’s when the crowd will be the least.”

“Oh…Ok!! Thanks…”

“Listen…I got to go now..See you tomm”she disconnected the line.

He was looking at the mobile for a while and then he wondered how he would recognize a woman whom he had never seen in his life.

Then his mind was thinking about the million questions that rose regarding the break up.He was wondering how can two people who were so much in love,break up so easily.He was thinking all about it even when he went out to have his dinner.In the end he decided that he would find the answers during the meet that he was to have with Keerthana the next day.He went to sleep that night with more questions than answers.

……..to be continued.